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Yesterday I was at my local Asda buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my dogs and was waiting in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time I tried the diet, but that at least I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete (and it says so on the packet) so it works well and that now I was better, I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I had ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from the Asda!
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he he, heard it before, but its still good.
LOL... You can't beat the old ones, Still a good yarn....
Lol, I haven't heard this one before, so thanks for posting, very funny
Very funny...I haven't heard it before either.
That's so funny......LOL
lol lol lol brilliant
Really funny story, some people need to lighten up really. I'm good at getting others thrown out of shops pubs when I'm drunk, unfortunately tell people what I actually think. oops not good, hey at least I'm being honest. Honest good not bad.
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