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OK. I'll start with.......
Christmas about 10 years ago. My sister at a complete loss as to what to get my husband for christmas asked for my advice. Straightaway I assured her his keen desire for Van Halens greatest hits CD. Seen the advert on TV and thats what he wanted! Available everywhere.
She phoned me a few of weeks later, exhausted from many hours/days of searching for the CD to say she had finally located an album by Van Halen which was not quite their greatest hits but close enough. Great I said. He will be pleased.
Xmas day arrives and hubby eagerly unwraps his pressie from his favourite sister in law. Face takes on a puzzled frown.
Whats this? he asked.
Van Halen. I replied. What you asked for.
No, he said, what I asked for was Van Morrison!
(Commonly available in all music stores throughout the land unlike Van Halen!)
Almost as bad as when fathers day came round and at a complete loss as to what to get him from our two daughters I ended up in the pet shop and got him a black rabbit!
What he really wanted was handlebar tape for his racing bike!
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When I was first working I accidently managed to get over drawn in the bank. I'm the one that very nearly posted a cheque to pay for it!!!!!
(My hand was actually reaching for a post box when the penny dropped!)
Daftest thing eh! well here goes
Many moons ago when I got my first car (Ford MK1 Cortina) that probably gives my age away. I went out to start it on freezing cold morning and I mean freezing every this was froze solid including my door locks so in my wisdom I put my lips to the door lock barrel to blow into,Yep you guessed it lips welded to the door lock.
Now you would not normally own up to that one would you? but its worth the laugh
Don't mention Cortina's! One of my worst was driving to work one morning at 6am, again on a freezing morning, and the top hose exploding......yep I hadn't mixed the anti-freeze rich enough.....Mr RAC came out, did a temp repair for me and got me on my way to work.
Arrived at work about an hour and a half late to find a bottle of anti-freeze sat on my desk waiting for me.........how did they know you ask?.......I was a repair incident manager at the RAC control room at the time.......took about 6 months befor the b*ggers would let me forget that one
Do you work for the AA now?
Quote: Do you work for the AA now?
No the police, so what can go wrong
My wife went into hospital on the 24th Jan to have our 2nd son a month early and in the wee hours. I got the job of packing a bag with instructions to pack a nightie so I did just that, I got to the hospital where I unpacked the nightie and passed it to her, I then continued to unpack only to hear "I can't put this on" I looked up and she was holding a pillow case that I had packed instead and not the nightie.
Used to work for a power tool repair place, guy comes in with a lawnmower, plugs it in to test it, motor burned out, sells guy a new machine, he then wants his long lead back from the old one,
Goes to mower, cuts lead off, big bang and fuses blown, I'd left it plugged in still !
....there's a list.
1. Set my mother-in-laws curtains on fire...twice.
2. Found a bar of soap in a pan of boiling potatoes just as guests arrived for dinner.....
3. Called the AA out as I couldn't get my keys out of the lock....only to discover I had left it in Drive rather than Park.
4.Put a casserole dish on the hob so it would cook quicker , it exploded across the kitchen.
5. Spat egg mayo inside my new camera.
6 Walked around Tesco's with my skirt tucked in my knickers.
...and many many more.
40 years ago I had a boat, one night, at home, middle of winter, roaring open fire, both of us smoking while making some fill in cushons for the bunks in the boat...used two big tins of evostick.
Air was thick with fumes...never realized...lucky not to have blown the roof off the bungalow:
...and us with it....stupid or what ?
Quote: Air was thick with fumes...never realized...lucky not to have blown the roof off the bungalow:
...and us with it....stupid or what ?
Nearly a candidate for the Darwin Awards ;D
When I was a child went on holiday as a family, took the dog , left the cat to be fed by neighbours.
Returned home - no cat. Called - no cat.
Went to search up and down the road, I found him on a gate post about 20 houses away, scooped him up and took him home.
Sadly he had obviously fogotten the dog in the interim and spat at him.
Then our cat walked in...........
Hasty return of kidnapped moggie to own gatepost!!
Was in a Spanish B&B last year in Caceres where we either had to cook our own dinner or buy it in. I was busy helping to clear up after eating one night by washing up and getting rid of the rubbish. The owner came in to see how we were all going and put a bag on the floor that contained some rubish to go outside. I had some bits to get rid of and they said pop it in the bag and they will take it out to the dustbin. So I put my bits in it and I said its no problem and promptly took it out to the dustbin myself.
The following evening the owners came in again and much the same thing happened. I was clearing up so put my bits in the bag on the floor and promptly took it outside and binned it.
A little while later a French couple came and asked if anyone has seen a bag that had all their following days picnic in ------------------ yes - you know the rest.............. I was so embarrased but everyone else except the French couple thought it hillarious!
Spent a month without my condenser tumble drier over Christmas - turned the house into a version of a Chinese Laundry for a month, and had to put up with scratchy towels!!! Finally decided to bite the bullet and call in the repair man. Fortunately, just before we did, MrS did a touch of troubleshooting online - -
- - at which point I realised that I hadn't emptied the water reservoir!
This didn't happen to me and was supposed to have happened to one of my brother's colleagues and may be an urban myth but good never the less...
He was driving along a road one sunny afternoon when a cat runs across the road and under the car wheels and when he looks in the rear view mirror he's horrified to see the cat somersaulting across the road obviously seriously injured. He can't stop and turn around at that point and has to carry on down the road until he find a driveway to turn around in and the retraces his steps until he sees the cat lying on the grass verge . He get out and looks at the cat lying their twitching and feels that as its obviously at death's door he can't leave it like that and must put it out of it's misery. So he gently reaches down and quickly wrings its neck.
At this point a window is flung open in the nearby house and a old woman starts screaming at him that he's just murdered her cat who always liked to lie on the verge and sun itself. He explained that he'd accidentally run over the cat and had come back to see what he could and as that he'd felt the kindest thing was to humanely kill it as it was obviously dying in agony. After a traumatic 15 minutes with the bereft cat owner and having promised to replace the cat, he finally gets in the car and carries on his journey only to turn the corner and find the cat that he'd actually hit lying stone dead by the side of the road!
Pretty good going killing two moggies in the space of 20 minutes!
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