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Many years ago we lived in an old cottage and we had solid fuel central heating put in. The boiler was in the cellar. One evening I had two thoughts on my mind, one was to go to the toilet, and the other was to put some more coal on the boiler...
I went down the cellar first and then stood there laughing, finding myself standing with the fire door open, unzipping my fly
Oh well, I suppose that was marginally better than throwing a shovel full of coal down the toilet!!!!
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It was last summer & I was visiting someone later in the day & killed a bit of time walking along the seafront with an icecream. It dropped out all over my top. Luckily I had a clean Tshirt with me so I sat in the back of the car to change only to find I couldn't get out. I'd left the child locks on & couldn't open the window or reach the front seat to open that door.
I had to try & attract the attention of other car park users most of whom couldn't find the source of the plaintive cry, "Please let me out," but I eventually I managed to make one family hear. I felt such a fool.
Silly thing is if I'd taken the head restraint off I could have clambered over the seat but when panic sets in & the temperature rises common sense solutions disappear.
I now know what it feels like to be a dog locked in a car in the summer.
The morning after a night out with friends, I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep so I got up and took the dog for a walk. When I got home my wife phoned downstairs and asked for a cup of tea and toast with butter and jam which I did. Later that day we had a turkey roast dinner. She said that she thought we had more Cranberry sauce than was in the jar - then the penny dropped. I hadn't the heart (or nerve) to tell her as she was none the wiser that she had it on her toast.
from my bachelor days 50 odd years ago, I went to a party in the centre of London, had a wonderful time and woke the next morning in my own bed.
Went downstairs and looked outside - no motorbike, yikes, its been stolen.
After a coffee and a bit more thought I remembered that I had ridden the bike to the party and obviously, being a responsible citizen, left it there and found another way home to Sutton
BUT - where had the party been!?
I spent the entire Sunday trudging up and down the many streets around the Threadneedle area until I finally found it and rode it back home.
I never did work out how I got back the previous night though
I once walked out of the wrong door whilst going to the toilet at the cinema... ended up in the fire escape, couldn't get back in as it was a one way door, nobody could here me shouting ''let me in'' because of the noise from the movie.
Ended up having to leave the cinema through the fire escape and then having to wait out side for 30 mins before my wife had noticed I hadn't come back from the toilet. The teenagers at the kiosk would not belive me and would not let me back in.
Also once fell off a gate at the top of a bank, rolled down said bank straight through the long grasses and into a canal I did not even know was there.
Quote: once fell off a gate at the top of a bank, rolled down said bank straight through the long grasses and into a canal I did not even know was there.
So that is where your log in name came from.
I once had to radio the Ch Inspector and tell him I had broken the blue light on one of his pandas.
Yep ............. I had put it on its roof - in reverse - on a straight road - with 3 prisoners in the back (don't ask..)
It was over 3 years before they let me drive another one.
Not me this time but someone who used to work in our office. He was asked to go and photogragh the back garden of a property. Unfortunately the garden was very small so he had an idea to climb up onto the garden wall to gain a bit of height and better angle. Now something we should all do before attempting such a daring feat is to ask ourselves 'what if?' He didn't! Only to discover the other side was a very cold and slimey stream (and smelly). He drove all the way back to the office to let us know he was going home change. That was the second time he should have asked himself 'what if?' Better to have gone home first as no one would have noticed his change of clothes but we all certainly noticed swampy as he squelched into the office!
Before you all gasp in horror, don't worry the camera was fine. No damage done! Phew!
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01/09/2014 - 30/09/2014
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