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Essay help please? :)


shadow18 e2
3 406 England
29 Jan 2013 1:15PM
Hello! I was wondering if some people would be willing to help me a little bit!
My next test I am taking for my college credits is going to be very difficult. It is composition. I will have to write a 5 paragraph, about-one page, extemporaneous, persuasive essay in 30 minutes. I will get my topic when the 30 minutes has started. This is going to be difficult, but I know I can do it.

I know this is a photography website, but I think you all are pretty smart! Smile And, the other thing is, it seems this is the only place people will take time to give me an in-depth response on anything. I did try putting essays on the student forums, but I feel like they are all just as inexperienced as I am.

So I was wondering if someone will give me a random topic. Then I am going to write on it in 30 minutes. Then you can critique me if you like. Please don't give me anything overly controversial, because I don't like conflict!! okay! Smile

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shadow18 e2
3 406 England
29 Jan 2013 1:18PM
Here is an example of my most recent practice.


Question:
The day-to-day living of almost every adult in the U.S. has been affected in some way by the widespread use of computers.  Explain one way computers have made your daily living easier or harder.  Use reasons and examples in your explanation.  






The current information age is unlike any other age. Never before has a generation had such access to information. The technology and information computer engineers, programmers, and scientists have innovated is beyond anything that former generations would have even imagined. Inventors come so far every day that it is nearly unbelievable even to those who belong to a generation only a few back. It is almost hard to understand. Every day technology in computer science advances faster than people realize. Is this innovation a good or a bad thing? Do computers make daily life easier or harder?
First, computers and the internet have made it easier for people to keep in touch. People who are far away, even on the other side of the world can communicate in a matter of seconds. Many years ago, communcation across the ocean took months. Slow ships traveled across the Atlantic to bring letters back and forth. Just a couple hundred years ago, when one sent a letter far away, it would take months to receive a reply, even if the recipient replied right away. Now it could take seconds if the person with whom you are communicating is ready to reply. The many forms of communication available over computers and the internet are also convenient. If one wants to send a note similar to a letter, he should send an email. If one wants to have a conversation similar to a face-to-face conversation, he should use instant message. If one wants to tell all his friends about an important event in his life, he should post it on social networking sites. Computers have made communication much easier and more convenient, especially if the computer itself is convenient.
Second, computers come in many forms. Several types of computers would be more convenient for some purposes more than for others. A desktop computer would work well for someone who wants to stay in the same place when they are on their computer. A laptop works well for someone who wants to travel with his computer and who may be fine with a smaller screen. A tablet works well for those who like the convenience of a laptop and like the format with the touchscreen. I have an Ipad, a type of tablet. I enjoy it. On my Ipad, I can play games, talk to my friends, do art, and even do college. The many forms of computers are convenient for all the people with different needs and desires, including people like me, who use their computers to go to college online.
Third, I personally, have experienced a recent new development that is promising. I go to college online. I enjoy it because I can decide how I want to learn. I love the autonomy. I also like that I can set my own schedule and be very flexible. I love, also, that I am going to be free from debt. Because I go to school at home, I do not have to pay room and board. Since the college does not have to pay for an expensive campus, the courses are much less expensive than they are at traditional college. I also am getting great value from this education. I get what I put into it. College online is one example of many of the recent new ideas that computers can bring that are profitable.
In conclusion, computers have greatly impacted society. When one looks at how communication has become easier, one sees the vast benefit of computers. Another great benefit is the diversity in which computers can come. The Ipad, for example, is the perfect fit for me. Finally, the internet and computers is an open avenue for opportunities such as my going to college online. Computers have made daily life easier.
29 Jan 2013 3:57PM
I had to Google what extemporaneous meant!

As this is a photo site, how about something on the rise of always-with-you-cameras (ie in phones) has changed photography?
Pete e2
13 18.7k 96 England
29 Jan 2013 4:02PM

Quote:As this is a photo site, how about something on the rise of always-with-you-cameras (ie in phones) has changed photography?

Really like that idea. You could include the decline of compact camera sales. huge popularity of instagram, recent transition of cameras to include App based technology etc, also impact on traditional camera stores, (recent Jessops closure for example)
29 Jan 2013 4:12PM
HOw About

Discuss the relationship between social media and the traditional news media and how this has had an impact on the ownership of an image. How enforceable is YOUR copyright!
adrian_w e2
7 3.4k 4 Scotland
29 Jan 2013 5:35PM

Quote:HOw About

Discuss the relationship between social media and the traditional news media and how this has had an impact on the ownership of an image. How enforceable is YOUR copyright!



Now that one I like; different attitudes to copyright & unauthorised use images in social media.
29 Jan 2013 5:48PM
I used to teach photography in college and it was almost impossible to get some of the students to understand that an image on the internet was copright free.... but that's a whole other argument.........
shadow18 e2
3 406 England
29 Jan 2013 5:58PM
Phew! Just finished this. I kinda failed because I took 45 minutes instead of the 30 that I'm going to have, and that is quite a difference when I only have 30 min. I am still practicing though! Smile Okay! Feel free for critiques!






Quote: how about something on the rise of always-with-you-cameras (ie in phones) has changed photography?



Cheap Art?
Recently, cameras have become more and more available. These cameras include cameras such as cheap "point-and shoot" cameras, cameras on phones, or cameras as an application on a mobile device. More and more people have access to cameras. Professional photographers, however, are sometimes appalled at this development because the quality of pictures that common people produce is not good. Those who know the elements of a beautiful, high-quality, artistic picture are often discouraged at the abundance of cheap pictures. It is true that people who do not know the art of photography, do not care about the art, or think that they know the art but do not, may have access to cameras and may produce low-quality images. Should this fact be disparaging to professional photographers? Will the art of photography be cheapened?
First, one should consider how the availability of cameras affects consumers. Cameras are available to amateurs because people can buy them for a low price. Does this availability hurt the art of photography? No, it does not. Because cameras are available to amateurs, they may use cheap cameras to experiment. Amateurs may try out photography, so to speak. They do not need to spend a fortune on an SLR camera. Then the purchaser of the camera may find out if he or she does or does not like photography and if he or she is or is not good at photography. If one has already invested a fortune into a professional camera and decides photography is not for him or her, all that money has been wasted. Also if one has a cheap camera and thinks he or she is an excellent photographer yet is not, then he or she is simply mistaken. The annoyance of that person's assertion is not applicable to how the availability of cheap cameras affects true future photographers. The availability of both cheap and expensive cameras provides a new and convenient gateway into photography for amateurs.
Second, one should consider how cheap cameras affect quality of images within photography. Some would assert that quality is destroyed. So many images flood the world now, yet many of them have no quality. If anything, quality is raised by the availability of photographic equiptment to more people. Before, only those who could afford it could buy good photographic equiptment. Now almost anyone who has a desire to try photography may. The undulation of images lacking quality should not disparage those who can produce images of quality. The more images and more photographers actually make the photography field more competitive than it was before. The field is now more based on the ability of the photographer rather than on who can afford good equiptment. Truly, still, a good photographer will often need to purchase an SLR camera. Since SLR cameras provide the flexibility that artistic photographers need, often these cameras are a good tool for producing quality images. Because more images flood the market and thus cause more competition, quality of images is actually raised rather than lowered by the advance of cheap cameras.
Third, one should consider if one should truly be disparaged at the changing times and possibly changing forms of art. For a long time, the Neoclassical period dictated authors and poets and artists in general. When the Romantic period began, those belonging to the old school refused to call the new art art. In history, however, one can see through hindsight that both were equally art. Do not these values apply to the current times? Even if the art of photography is changing, one should not be disparged.
The availability of cheaper cameras has made a gateway to the art of photography for those inclined to experiment. Also, quality of images has been raised by increased competition. Finally, even if photography is changing, one see through looking back at history that art can change and still be art. The advance of new technology of cheap and widely available cameras is no reason to dispair.
shadow18 e2
3 406 England
30 Jan 2013 2:58AM
Well, nobody has to agree with me! I just want to know how I did on style and technique and being persuasive and all that! I don't actually have a strong opinion on the topic. I just chose a side, then pretended to have a strong opinion. If it would please people, I will write the opposing essay next!
shadow18 e2
3 406 England
30 Jan 2013 4:04AM
tada!! Grin



Recently, Jessops, a popular store that sold professional camera equipment, closed. Many lost their jobs, and a store loved by many experienced photographers shut down. It seems that people are not purchasing professional photography equipment as much as they used to. The reason Jessops and other quality photography stores are not popular anymore is that there are many options available in low-quality equipment. Currently, almost anyone who want one may own a camera. The market in inundated with low-quality options such as cameras attached to Ipods or Ipads, cameras in phones, or cheap digital cameras.
First, experienced photographers find it frustrating that quality equipment is becoming more and more rare as time goes on. Brands that they have loved, used, and found to work for years suddenly disappear. The cameras that most of these photographers use, called Single Lens Reflex (SLR) cameras, require updates every few years. The advantage of an SLR camera is that the lens may be changed whenever the photographer desires. Different lenses work better for different circumstances. For example, if one is taking portraits, he or she might prefer to use a zoom lens. If one is taking macrophotography, he or she might prefer a macro lens. If one is taking abstact photography, he or she may prefer a fisheye lens. Once one buys a body, usually he or she may only buy lenses within the same brand to fit onto that body. If quality brands or stores close, photographers will have wasted much money and will feel frustrated. More important than the problem of frustratinn is the realization that if photographers have to keep wasting money when preferred brands are shut down, they may not be able to survive in the economy. The service of professional photographers may eventually become rare if trends like these closings continue. Since quality equipment has become more rare and cheap equipment has become more rampant, true photographers and those looking to choose to become a future professional photographer will be frustrated.
Second, the advent of low-quality equipment has made it hard for students who would like to enter the field of photography. Almost everyone currently owns some type of camera. Many people have the equipment to take pictures, whether they be low or high quality. Because so many people are taking pictures, many people think that they have the skill to become professional photographers. Many people major in photography. They may continue to think they are good throughout college. They may then enter the business world with high hopes. When they realize that the field is overpopulated, they realize that they will probably not make much money as a photographer. Their hopes are dashed. Also, those aspiring photographers who are truly talented have trouble advertising and being seen through the overpopulated field of photography. They may also become discouraged. The new cheap equipment has made it difficult for students who would major in photography, and the inundation of photographers has cheapened the photography itself.
Third, the quality of images is deteriorating in this age. One should disregard students of photography for a moment and think about the average person who owns a camera. Almost anyone can take a picture of anything. Some average people who have not disciplined themselves to learn photography think they have skills which they do not have. The many images available make it difficult for those who purchase pictures. It is tedious for consumers of photographers to sort through the high and low quality images. The image quality is deteriorating.
The market's inundation with low-quality cameras has caused a grim future for the field of photography. Professional photographers find it frustrating to try to find new brands when old brands they have loved go out of business. Also, aspiring photographers may have a grim future that does not reflect their hopes and dreams once they graduate college. Finally, the quality of images is deteriorating, and it is becoming more difficult for purchasers to weed through picture upon picture until they find quality. One should understand how cheap cameras affect the photography field, and one should learn to recognize quality photography.
keith selmes
11 7.1k 1 United Kingdom
30 Jan 2013 8:02AM
Just perused the second one and found it mostly quite lucid and readable. I found the first two paragraphs slightly muddled, possibly because I don't much agree with the content, possibly because you hadn't hit your stride yet. Or perhaps you were confused about what you were trying to say.

The paragraphs about student expectations and about overall quality of photographs seemed easier to follow and I felt also they were more credible arguments. It might help also that they were also arguments I'm familiar with. (This doesn't mean I necessarily agree with them, they're complicated)

Bear in mind I may have had trouble with the first part because I disagreed with it, but I suspect also you may have been losing your thread somewhere in there.

The greatest value here probably is that you're practicing, unless we pick up some huge problem, which I don't yet see, that's probably more useful than our opinions.

Probably not important, but there's a typo frustratinn
There was another but I can't see it for looking now Sad
keith selmes
11 7.1k 1 United Kingdom
30 Jan 2013 8:40AM
in "Cheap Art?"


Quote:Third, one should consider if one should truly be disparaged at the changing times

I think that should be "discouraged" not "disparaged". Apart from that, this section on the changing nature of art was clear and reasoned.

Overall, I was put off reading this by the appearance of the text on the screen. That is partly the nature of the medium - I've found I tend to break up text a lot more when communicating by computer, as I find it easier to read, and I think others do too. When I returned to essay writing I had to learn again how to do that conventionally. But a large block of text on screen is daunting.

Having now read it, I found the main part awkward and the last part quite clear. The worry is, if it took 45 minutes, the last part wouldn't be there. I feel there are too many words in the first and second sections.

For example in this piece quoted below, I think the words in square brackets could come out and be replaced by the words in italics, which would save a lot of writing and be easier to read.

Cameras are available to amateurs because people can buy them for a low price. Does this availability hurt the art of photography? No, [ it does not. Because cameras are available to amateurs, they may] because people can use cheap cameras to experiment

I'll be interested to see what anyone else thinks.
keithh e2
11 23.4k 33 Wallis And Futuna
30 Jan 2013 12:16PM

Quote:I used to teach photography in college and it was almost impossible to get some of the students to understand that an image on the internet was copright free.... but that's a whole other argument.........


I take it you intended this as being allegorical and not to be taken as fact.



How about an essay on how digital photography has affected photography for the worse. Devils advocate and all that.
shadow18 e2
3 406 England
31 Jan 2013 2:33AM
Thank you, Keith, for helping me out!
It is always nice to get opinions when practicing something like this. Like you said about how daunting it is to read, nobody really wants to read all my practice essays! lol! I tried to get my mom to read them, but she didn't want to, lol! Too many boring essays! Wink

hmm, yes I will continue to practice getting it in the time limit. I think another one of my repeating problems is I get wordy. Wordiness is never interesting. I have to somehow think of more facts and opinions to add content to add length. Maybe explain things more? Instead of adding useless words.

well, I will probably write another essay soon, but I am too tired right now. Thanks again for your tips! Tips and social interaction when I am doing something that is maybe boring or really difficult make it fun!!
keith selmes
11 7.1k 1 United Kingdom
31 Jan 2013 9:33AM
I've more often had to work to word limits or page limits than time limits, but the same thing applies. Going through to see where you could replace 5 words with 2 words helps train your brain so you begin to do it while you're writing, and so long as you don't over do it, it becomes more readable, and you can get more ideas in fewer words, and in this case, less time.

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