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and another offal one - Somerset County Gazette earlier - (first report was a corker, this one is just amusing)
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I was on night shift years back when a load of offal was shed on the A1. It was spread over a length of 600 yds. Our blue lights and presence,(out of the car attempting to slow traffic) did virtually no good. All we could hear was a sound as though a thousand bare backsides were being slapped as cars thundered over it at about 60 mph. No one ever claimed it, not even the supermarket chains.
Quote: No free food this time. Road report on the radio says a cement lorry has overturned, and shed its load (Hamps. I think). The Police have closed the road and are hoping for rain, so that they will have some solid and concrete evidence against the driver.
You can't make it up
I often wondered if some of the material for the news reading session in the Two Ronnies programmes were gleaned from similar reports.
I recall in the 1970s (I think) a lorry laden with whisky was involved in an accident in Scotland, perhaps Edinburgh area. Whisky from broken bottles was running in the gutter. The residents were out in force trying to salvage what they could from the gutter, prior to arrival of the Customs & Excise. One man ended up in court - he had removed his trousers, laid them in the gutter to soak up the whisky, then wrung them out into a container. According to the news he was done for indecent exposure. If that is correct then I can only assume he was not wearing underpants.
More free food, lads, a lorry, laden with pickled onions has crashed, and the road has been closed to clear the load. I forget where, but even so I cannot be bothered as I am suffering from too much Branston and Cheddar.
More road closures today, but no food. Timber lorry went over near us, and I said to the wife, " Should I go out and get some wood to put in the freezer ?" The look on her face, ? Am I going mad, or does she not have a sense of humour ?
Quote: does she not have a sense of humour
Of course she does. After all she married you!
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