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bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was once a hooker!' He says 'That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it' She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan !'
have a great weekend all
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Great one !
Three eldery nuns died and on arriving at the pearly gates were met by Peter.
Sisters he said, you have been such loyal servants to the faith it has been deceided that you are to be rewarded by returning to earth for six months and you can return as anyone you wish.
The first sister says I have always envied Sophia Loren, and with that she disapeared in a puff of smoke. The second sister says I have always thought that Maddona had a wonderful life style, and again in a puff of smoke she is gone. The third sister says well I think I would like to have been Sara Pipaline. Peter raised an eyebrow and responded, I have never heared of such a person sister could you tell me a ;little about her. The sister says I have a newspaper article which explains who she is. Handing the paper to Peter he reads it and a smile begins to spread across his face, I think you have failed to understand the article sister, what it actually says is "140 men laid SAHARA PIPELINE"
haha another cracker
David, are you really a junior member?
one of the oldest Juniors here at the mo?
Quote: David, are you really a junior member?
Quote: one of the oldest Juniors here at the mo?
Old in years young at heart. Still working long hours so not able to devote as much time as I would like to photography, but come July intend to retire from work and hopefully devote more time to the pleasures in life,photography, travel and good scotch
Hi Dave could you nip into your profile and either change to correct birth date or remove the child one you may have set by accident. If you set the correct one you get your name mentioned when it's your birthday and someone may buy you a present, although, don't get your hopes up.
Thats blown my cover Pete
Quote: someone may buy you a present, although, don't get your hopes up
Well dont be too sure, when it was my birthday, a very lovely gentleman on here bought me E2 membership!
A driver is stuck in traffic on the M4 . The cars are end to end and not moving. Suddenly a bloke knocks on the window. The driver winds down his window and asks, "What's happening?".
The bloke says "A group of masked men have kidnapped Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and David Miliband. They're asking for £10 million as a ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"
"Most people are giving about a gallon."
Dig up thatcher as well and give thee 2 gallons, and a pack o fire lighters
I'd have Thatcher back anyday ... show this lot of soft left wing idiots how to run a country
If only these idiots were left wing!
I think they are all a new brand of politics, trend politics. Saying what they think will make them popular and then doing the opposite until one day it all cocks up. I doubt cameron would be better either, no hope.
Still better than mass unemployment.
mmm Cameron is a sheep in sheeps clothing. I want a leader ... a nutcase who gets the job done ... someone without fear ....
I say Vote Rambo
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