Upload your photos, chat, win prizes and much more
Can't Access your Account?
New to ePHOTOzine? Join ePHOTOzine for free!
Upload photos, chat with photographers, win prizes and much more for free!
now you're just being SILLY.
Seriously, I am designing a new house
Join ePHOTOzine for free and remove these adverts.
but it's not in Bonth
Bri - I have only two words to say in respect of your contribution ..
ye gods ....
and I don't mean 'ye gods', you understand .. although many of you are (but I digress .. lol .. *perk*) I actually mean 'ye GODS' ...
I'll leave it there ..
"Bri, I'd be lucky to find a woman that does all that work."
Mattwaggie, i'd just leave it at that :0)
8.30 - wake up to hugs and kisses
8.35 - get weighed, 3 lbs lighter than yesterday
8.45 - breakfast in bed, open expensive present bought by thoughtful partner
9.15 - soothing bath with luxurious bath foam
10.00 - light work out with handsome, funny personal trainer
10.30 - facial, manicure, get hair done.
12.00 - light lunch with best friend at trendy wine bar
1.00 - see boyfriend/hubbys ex and notice she has gained 2 stone
1.15 - shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3.00 - nap
4.00 - 3 dozen roses delivered (secret admirer)
4.15 - another light work out, followed by a massage from hunk who compliments her on georgous body
5.30 - select outfit from extensive wardrobe and spend 2 hours getting ready
7.30 - candlelit meal followed by dancing
10.00 - hot shower (alone)
10.50 - bed, freshly ironed crisp white linen sheets
11.00 - pillow talk, cuddling
11.15 - fall asleep in big strong arms
6.00 - alarm
6.10 - quickie
6.15 - massive satisfying dump while reading sports section
6.30 - breakfast (full english, fried) cooked by buxom wench who bends over a lot
7.00 - limo arrives
7.15 - several beers en-route to airport
9.00 - flight in personal Lear jet
9.45 - limo to golf club
10.00 - play front 9, 2 under
12.00 - lunch (pie, chips, gravy, 3 lagers)
12.45 - play back 9, 4 under
2.45 - limo back to airport (several beers)
3.15 - late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew (who all bend over a lot)
4.15 - land world record fish
5.00 - fly home accompanied by Elle Mcpherson (naked and bending over a lot - naturally!)
6.45 - shower and shave
7.00 - watch news, marijuana and porn legalised
7.30 - steak and chips followed by brandy and habanos cigar in front of wall size TV (footie match on, fave team wins 6 - 0)
9.30 - sex with 3 women (all who bend over a lot!)
11.00 - massage and jacuzzi, yesterdays leftover pizza and night cap
11.45 - bed alone
11.50 - a 12 second fart, changing note 4 times and forcing the dog to leave the room.
ROFL Flossie, especially with the for him @ 11.50...
But, where was the ePHOTO editors choice award winning photo session?
flossie, the TV's for the F1 motor racing! Can't stand footie! Be up in the mornin' fer Rugby though!
Ditto Suzi - "ye gods"
Nice one flossie ha ha - much better scenario!!............in our dreams!!
Just one more selection, as for someone eleven hours behind us it's still Friday night
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
If you go to a bookshop and ask them to tell you where the self-help section is, would that be defeating the purpose?
Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't gossip about other people.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
I have just come in from work to this!!! Taken me 30 minutes to read through it all, bloody hell, very funny. Love the perfect mans/womans day.
Nothing I can add really, its good to be among funny people.
All the best folks.
ePHOTOzine, the web's friendliest photography community.
Upload photos, chat with photographers, win prizes and much more.
You must be a member to leave a comment
Get the latest photography news straight from ePHOTOzine in your email every month and win prizes!
1st August 2014 - 31st August 2014
Check out ePHOTOzine's inspirational photo month calendar! Each day click on a window to unveil new photography tips, treats and techniques.
View August's Photo Month Calendar