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"There may be no 'I' in team, but there's a 'ME' if you look hard enough"
" What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts."
"If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation."
"You don't have to be mad to work here! In fact we ask you to complete a medical questionnaire to ensure that you are not."
"You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back."
"There's no 'I' in 'team'. But then there's no 'I' in 'useless smug colleague', either. And there's four in 'platitude-quoting idiot'. Go figure."
"You don't have to be mad to work here, but you do have to be on time, well presented, a team player, customer service focused and sober!!"
"Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines"
and my absolute favourite:
"Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them"
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If at first you don't succeed - let some other idiot have a go.
Robinson Crusoe was the only guy getting his work done by Friday.
Try,try,try. If you try, you can be very trying.
If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
Why? Leave it there to confuse the next guy!!! LOL
Alternatively, Brag about your success! Bull Baffles Brains!
If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried. - David Brent, The Office
sorry Jas, who were you quoting ?
I don't know if it's ever been aired on telly outside Wales but there's a film called Grand Slam about Welsh men going to Paris in the seveties.. it stars Windsor Davies but a very camp character called Maldwyn Novello Pugh... I've watched it in a pub with the sound off and 200+ people reciting the script from heart... anyway some of Maldwyn's gems...
on bidets... 'it's not for upstairs ew twp bugger, it's for ewer downstairs!'
on sharing a bed with Windsor Davies... 'I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere... so beware!'
watching Windsor perform a Zulu... 'I sold him those boxer shorts in the boutique'
'Ew dribble on my fun fur once more and I'll snap ewer beads'
'don't leave me alone in this city of sin... oh I don't know tho'
The best line in the film tho goes to Glyn the undertaker's son... in bed with a gorgeous Frencg stripper he turns to camera and says 'O Mam fach!'
If at first you don't succeed, never try - Homer Simpson
If at first you don't succeed, Hide the evidence - Dave Price
Let me shipwreck between your thighs - Dylan Thomas
Big Bri - I don't who it was when he said it, I don't when it was when he said it and I don't know where he was when he said it.
All I know was he said it.
if at first you dont suxeed. . . . suckseed . . . . . . sukseed . . . . . sucede . . . oh, sod it
This 'If at first you don't succeed' attitude is pernicious - we've had to start putting 'Bruce loops' into our code to stop users from try,try,trying again - our motto is if at first you don't succeed ask someone who knows what they're doing.
PS I was slightly out of pocket when one of our worst offenders had this message on their screen... 'Congratulations! You have won 20, now contact Ceri Evans and explain what the hell you're doing'
"Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure
to thousands, and all you can do is scratch it!"
Sir Thomas Beecham, to a lady Cellist.
"You don't take a photograph, you make it."
Ceri - certainly does! The Dux of the Darkroom!
(Nothing to do with ponds, I hasten to add!).
This one really confuses me!
"The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera."
If you can see without a camera why do you need a camera, but you need the camera to teach you how to see without it, but if you haven't got it then you can't learn to see without it, but then if ...............
I give up.
I think that what she is actually getting at is that using a camera develops the 'seeing eye'.
Or is that just as bad?
That previously you 'looked' without 'seeing' or 'perceiving'.
In the same way as some folk 'hear' without actually 'listening' (like the wife, for instance!) LOL
(Sorry Marie - if you are watching!)
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1st March 2014 - 31st March 2014
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