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Funny Limericks!

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wotashot
wotashot  102249 forum posts
14 Aug 2006 - 12:51 PM

Its Monday and I'm bored already!

So lets share some really funny Limericks!

There once was a man from china
Who wasn't a very good climber
He fell on a rock
and broke his 'little man'
and now he's got a......

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14 Aug 2006 - 12:51 PM

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Cowbags
Cowbags  9436 forum posts England
14 Aug 2006 - 3:50 PM

There once was a mouse called Keith
Who circumcised boys with his teeth
It wasn't for leisure
Or sexual pleasure
But to get to the cheese underneath!!!

EddieAC
EddieAC  9667 forum posts United Kingdom2 Constructive Critique Points
14 Aug 2006 - 4:00 PM

There was a photographer from Peru
Who liked to shoot girls in the nude
But he was rather short sighted
and now his gallery is blighted
by pics of his Gran on the Loo.

contemporary dave

There was a young woman from Ealing

...Perhaps not

There was a young woman from Honga
Who married a man from Konga
An old man from Deal said How did it feel'
She said just like yours but much longer.


Sorry...

Tooth
Tooth  95772 forum posts Ireland227 Constructive Critique Points
14 Aug 2006 - 7:13 PM

A young man of passions quite gingery
tore a hole in his sister's best lingerie.
She shouted and swore,
then lay down on the floor
to add incest to insult and injury..

stevemelvin
stevemelvin e2 Member 8675 forum postsstevemelvin vcard United Kingdom2 Constructive Critique Points
14 Aug 2006 - 11:40 PM

A young lady who lives in Nantucket....

.....no, no, best not.....

c_evans99
c_evans99  107013 forum posts Wales1 Constructive Critique Points
14 Aug 2006 - 11:55 PM

The English it seems are bereft
Of tact, though they have proved quite deft
At applying their labours
To annoying the neighbours
Why else would the Romans have left?

There is a young lady named Paula
Who grows ever outwards, not taller
If she keeps gaining weight
At her current high rate
What will the astronomers call her?

Ceri Smile

dunczilla
dunczilla  874 forum posts England
25 Aug 2006 - 10:56 PM

There was a young woman from Bude
Who went for a swim in the river
A man in a punt
Caught his pole in her hair
And said "You can't swim here it's dangerous."

Big Bri
Big Bri  1215507 forum posts England
26 Aug 2006 - 12:04 AM

There was a old man from Calcutta
Who was found lying dead in a gutter
The heat from the sun
Burned a hole in his bum
And melted his b*ll*cks like butter.

Big Bri
Big Bri  1215507 forum posts England
26 Aug 2006 - 12:07 AM

There was a young fellow named Menzies,
Whose kissing sent girls into frenzies,
But a virgin one night
Crossed her legs in a fright,
And fractured his bi-focal lenses.

colin
colin  9697 forum posts Scotland5 Constructive Critique Points
26 Aug 2006 - 9:38 AM

There was young man from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
Blades of grass, grew out of his a*se,
And his b*lls were all covered in weeds.

colin
colin  9697 forum posts Scotland5 Constructive Critique Points
26 Aug 2006 - 9:40 AM

A woman with long ginger locks.......

{on second thoughts.......!!!)

contemporary dave

A policeman from Clapham Junction
Had sex organs that didn't really function
He deceived his poor wife, throughout his married life
By the trecherous use of his trunction.



Sorry...

Just Jas
Just Jas  1225716 forum posts England1 Constructive Critique Points
27 Aug 2006 - 12:16 PM

I took my girl to the station,
To watch the engines shunt.
The top flew off the boiler,
And struck her on the bum!

Scanny
Scanny  929 forum posts United Kingdom
28 Aug 2006 - 9:37 AM

A verger who lived in South Mimms
Suffered from an outsize in quimms
The vicar of the diocese had elephantiasis
So life was'nt all singing hymns

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