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I know a D70s owner who finds it works well on his camera, he had no problems with balance etc, but then I am thinking of taking photo's where you have one hand on the lens anyway.
just get a good grip and don't leave it dangling 
Or another way of looking at it........!
If your D40X can balance a 70-300, Just what the heck is the 70-300 made of.......
Paper perhaps......?
Once you enter into long range zoom lens, Chances are the lens will be heavier than the camera........No matter what camera your talkin about..........!
If you want the 70 - 300 range........That is something you'll have to get used to......Or add a house brick to the bottom of your camera...
I have this lens, and it's not that heavy, compared to say, 70-200mm f2.8 - now that's much heavier.
If you want a lighter lens which has a good reach and AF works with D40, maybe you want to consider the 18-200mm VR. It is smaller and lighter. OK, it is 100mm shorter, admittedly, but it is more versatile. It all depends on what you want to use it for, but if you have D40, the choices are rather limited, unless you want to go MF. Try them both in a shop, and see which you prefer.
I use the lens a lot with a D5000 and find it a little top heavy.When its on a tripod it seems more so(maybe thats my tripod) but the lens is super quality and the vr very beneficial,maybe softer at the top end 300mm but step it down slightly and it does the job!
well you made an excellent choice with the 18-70 its a super lens and you cant go wrong with the 70-300 vr either. both are really sharp and well made lenses. it might be a bit heavy but better to have a decent lens with a metal mount than a cheaper and less robust version like its predessesor.
its never a good idea to carry a larger lens around your neck because of the strain on the mount so i usually just hold it by the lens and then put the 18-70 back on to carry
Phil
I have had my D60 for over a year and a half and purchased the 70-300 VR 4.5/5.6 within months of getting the camera. I have used this lens on on hundreds of pictures since purchasing it. It is truly a wonderful lens although not what you would identify as fast glass, thus making you utilize a monopod or tripod in less than optimal lighting conditions, and using a very high ISO at those times when photographing a moving subject in those conditions. The VR is very good. I have not had any problems carrying this lens and it is not an issue when carrying it on any photo walks. It has a nice balance on my TrekPod Pro Monopod and I have also taken sharp pictures indoors in tripod mode with the TrekPod and the wireless remote. I think that you would be truly pleased with this lens. I sure am satisfied with the product although there are the limitations I described above but they do not include the issues that you were concerned with.
I used a Nikon VR 80-400mm on a D70 for 4 years, and seldom used anything else. At times I walked 3-4 hours in the parks with it, and had no problem. It's a lot heavier and bigger than the 70-300mm. I would advise using a tripod wherever possible though, if you want the sharpest images. The VR is good in a pinch. Just put the strap around your neck and hold the weight with a hand under the camera and lens.
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