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One line gags please...

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contemporary dave

Give us your best one line gag.

To get the ball rolling.


I love houses - so no-one can accuse me of being homeophobic.

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25 Apr 2006 - 2:06 AM

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conrad
conrad  1010874 forum posts116 Constructive Critique Points
25 Apr 2006 - 2:12 AM

Procrastination is one of my weaknesses, and I think I'll stop doing it - tomorrow.

stevemelvin
stevemelvin e2 Member 8675 forum postsstevemelvin vcard United Kingdom2 Constructive Critique Points
25 Apr 2006 - 2:30 AM

What's black and white and eats like a horse?...............A zebra.

joolsb
joolsb  927115 forum posts Switzerland38 Constructive Critique Points
25 Apr 2006 - 2:32 AM

I used to be indecisive... now I'm not so sure.

strawman
strawman  1022006 forum posts United Kingdom16 Constructive Critique Points
25 Apr 2006 - 2:33 AM

I am not paranoid...you lot are out to get me.

snapbandit
snapbandit  102205 forum posts Northern Ireland3 Constructive Critique Points
25 Apr 2006 - 2:34 AM

I try to lose weight....But it keeps on finding me!!

8-o)

Joe B

strawman
strawman  1022006 forum posts United Kingdom16 Constructive Critique Points
25 Apr 2006 - 2:36 AM

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead

S Laurel

FrankThomas
FrankThomas e2 Member 112762 forum postsFrankThomas vcard United Kingdom
25 Apr 2006 - 2:47 AM

Take my mother-in-law . . . Please!!

mjsayles
mjsayles  81019 forum posts
25 Apr 2006 - 2:49 AM

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

ardbeg77
ardbeg77  101214 forum posts Sao Tome and Principe6 Constructive Critique Points
25 Apr 2006 - 2:51 AM

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

ardbeg77
ardbeg77  101214 forum posts Sao Tome and Principe6 Constructive Critique Points
25 Apr 2006 - 2:53 AM

So I said "Do you want a game of Darts?", he said "OK then", I said "Nearest to bull starts". He said "Baa", I said "Moo", he said "You're closest".

Martin54
Martin54 e2 Member 8497 forum postsMartin54 vcard United Kingdom
25 Apr 2006 - 2:56 AM

The meek shall inherit the earth ... if that's OK with the rest of you.

Chris_H
Chris_H  101472 forum posts1 Constructive Critique Points
25 Apr 2006 - 2:56 AM

Whats got 90 balls and screws all the women? = Bingo

rnixon
rnixon  10180 forum posts
25 Apr 2006 - 2:57 AM

Shakespeare goes into a pub and the landlord says,
"You're Bard"

ardbeg77
ardbeg77  101214 forum posts Sao Tome and Principe6 Constructive Critique Points
25 Apr 2006 - 2:59 AM

So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays"

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