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When asked 'How are you today?' by a stranger on the phone, I shall, in future, reply 'Very busy', rather than the desired 'Fine thanks'.
Conversations starting with 'We are looking for a photographer in your area who can take extra work' I find can usually be foreshortened by the response 'I have spent my advertising budget for the year', however this time I got a real terrier of a salesman (or is that 'contract manager', 'accounts executive'?).
'We can guarantee you a first page listing on Google'.
'Oh really? I'm already there thankyou.'
'Ah, but you're on the sponsored listing, nobody uses those links'.
'I do. Is that a proven fact, or a sales ploy?'
'it's what I know. I'm regulated by Ofcomm, so I can't lie to you'.
'Well as I said, I'm not spending any more money on advertising, as very little of it ever works'.
'Well we can provide you with a domain name, unique to you, which is optimised to get you on the first page of Google. Are you aware of how valuable that would be?'
'Maybe (fatal mistake!), but stats given by people like you ignore the fact that many link clicks are from competitors, and advertising salespeople, not potential customers. I reckon it's around 50:50, therefore the ads are only half as effective as you say'.
'We've been extremely effective for Tony & Guy'.
'A national chain of hair dressers?! That's perfect for a local photographer'.
'I'll show you some listings - are you near a pc'.
I chuckle at this point - I'm stood in PC World. 'er...not really'.
'So how much does this cost then?'
'Before we discuss cost blah blah...'
'Just tell me what it costs'.
'A 1-off setup cost of £250...'
'Including VAT?'
'No'
'So that covers the domain name, worth £2.50?'
'Yes, but....'.
'And is that the only cost?'
'There's the monthly fee of just £70 + VAT'.
'So it's £1200 pa?.
'It's only £3 per day'.
'Or in real terms £1200 per year?'
'Yes, but that's only 1 wedding isn't it?'
'I don't just do weddings, and assuming I didn't want to work for free, I would have to gain at least 3 weddings in order to actually benefit'.
'So you only make £300 on a wedding? Other people are charging £1300?!
At this point I begin to doubt his business acumen!
'I'm not here to argue with you about my costing. I'm running a successful business, in Yorkshire, in a recession, I understand marketing, I understand SEO. I assume you're not a business consultant?!'
'I'm not arguing, but you must see how beneficial this would be. It's not a problem if you're not interested, I can easily approach others in you area (this backfired - giving me an easy out)'.
I also remember at this point an identical pitch 2 years ago, offering me the same domain name - so I somehow doubt the popularity of the service.
'I suggest you do that then, and I can get on with my shopping'.
'buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....'
Next time, I shall just use the 'extremely busy reply'.
Quote: Don't argue - just put the phone down.
Same with the doorstep wallahs - just say "Thank you for calling, bye" and firmly close the door.
yes, I know
that's why they use the 'hi how are you' ice breaker, so you'd feel guilty about being rude.
The buggers
I used to do door to door sales - I made £25 / week - ie no commission. I just couldn't bring myself to sell over-priced alarms to people who obviously had no money. Plenty could though, and made stacks.
I work on the basis that the harder they try to sell, the more they earn from it, thereofre the worse the value for money for me. Especially with credit card-type insurance
Quote: When asked 'How are you today?' by a stranger on the phone, I shall, in future, reply 'Very busy', rather than the desired 'Fine thanks'.
I do this all the time now - it's yet another 'Americanism' (sorry folks - and I have some close American friends 
) that does not fit in our (UK) society.
It also seems as though the cold-caller thinks that the question is The Great Door Opener.
W R O N G!!!!!
Tele-sales techniques in this country are DIRE.
I got into the habit of just putting the handset down and letting them do their stuff while I went to make a drink.
Funny, I had a call from a guy at Google Adwords today. But now you've said this I don't know if he actually was from Google Adwords. I'll give hime some credit though, when I told him £15 a day was well over my advertising budget he did say that I might be best looking at other local media for now as I wouldn't get the best out of Adwords for a smaller budget. He wasn't too pushy, and did answer all of my questions. And he did give me his telephone number in case if in 6 months or a year I decide to look at Adwords again. Now I'm not sure if he was genuine or not...
I do normally say "not interested" or sometimes just hang-up instantly, but I was bored and it was something that I had been looking at.
Quote: When asked 'How are you today?' by a stranger on the phone.
I usually reply "I'm fine. What are you going to do to spoil it?" Doesn't stop them, but they can't say they didn't get a taste of what's to come...
I had one guy who phoned about google listings - I said I'm not interested and hung up. He phoned me back and had a go at me for rudely hanging up on him!
I got rid of a chap selling windows at the door the other day.
"I can see that you've already got UPVC windows - do mind telling me who fitted them?"
"I fitted them myself"
"Not much point talking to you then, thank you for your time"
I think I'll be using that one again. 
That's a good one.
"Can I interest you in an advert in our magazine"
"I publish one myself"
"Okay no point talking to you then"
All sorts of uses.
Quote: Funny, I had a call from a guy at Google Adwords today. But now you've said this I don't know if he actually was from Google Adwords. I'll give hime some credit though, when I told him £15 a day was well over my advertising budget he did say that I might be best looking at other local media for now as I wouldn't get the best out of Adwords for a smaller budget. He wasn't too pushy, and did answer all of my questions. And he did give me his telephone number in case if in 6 months or a year I decide to look at Adwords again. Now I'm not sure if he was genuine or not...
I do normally say "not interested" or sometimes just hang-up instantly, but I was bored and it was something that I had been looking at.
He'll have been an Adwords consultant - they like to give the impression they working for Google.
I've tried Adwords, but I think it really only works if you're national.
I've seen my ad appearing on EPZ, which counts as 'views' but is hardly likely to get me any work!
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