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website help


31 Mar 2012 12:35PM
hi im asher, i have recently changed my website layout and pages. i need to change my home page info about me, cos i sound like im 10.

can anyone help me wirte something or give me pointers thank you

http://www.asherreynolds.com/

asher reynolds

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31 Mar 2012 2:39PM
some one help please
31 Mar 2012 3:24PM
Hi Asher,

it's a bit difficult for someone to help you with this, as only you know what you want to put in your info. However, the format you've chosen does sound a bit like one of those 'Personal Statement' pieces you get at the top of a CV, and it's quite difficult to get something like that to grab the attention.

I find it difficult to write about myself, as you have to make the rather egotistical assumption that people are interested (even though, if they're looking at your website, I suppose it's not THAT egotistical). The way I got around it with mine was to actually pose questions that a reader may be asking, and then answer them - http://www.kevinlowephotography.com/abous-us/

Hope this helps, at least a little bit.

Kevin
31 Mar 2012 3:28PM
thanks for you comment, im not really looking for that

thanks
thatmanbrian e2
3 342 3 United Kingdom
31 Mar 2012 4:32PM
I don't see anything wrong with what you've written personally. The site sounds and feels grown-up to me. I would however like to know where you found a waterfall as I only know of one in Dorset, at Kimmeridge bay and that is intermittent! Is there another?
31 Mar 2012 6:52PM
i think what you have is pretty good as it is, I'd leave it, although you could put something like your latest news on the homepage which is what I have done
31 Mar 2012 9:47PM
thanks for ur advice
31 Mar 2012 9:47PM

Quote:I don't see anything wrong with what you've written personally. The site sounds and feels grown-up to me. I would however like to know where you found a waterfall as I only know of one in Dorset, at Kimmeridge bay and that is intermittent! Is there another?


i didnt say it was in dorset
Miles Herbert e2
12 1.8k 4 United Kingdom
31 Mar 2012 9:55PM
"Asher Reynolds is a young photographer living in Dorset where he has developed a passion for photography, especially scenic images of the beautiful Dorset landscape, it's wildlife and more recently a growing interest in portraiture. During this time Asher's dedication has won him several awards including ******** and ******** (list your two most prestigious awards) strengthening his ambitions of one day becoming a professional photographer."

Something like that?
Dvaid e2
5 246 United Kingdom
31 Mar 2012 10:47PM
Asher
I love your waterfalls and your landscapes , well done. You might want to check your horizons are horizontal in the landscapes, and slow down the repetition rate on your homepage.
I suggest yoi give the third person description that Miles Herbert suggested to ten different people and ask their opinions compared with what you have there currently.

Best of luck.
David
1 Apr 2012 8:37AM

Quote:"Asher Reynolds is a young photographer living in Dorset where he has developed a passion for photography, especially scenic images of the beautiful Dorset landscape, it's wildlife and more recently a growing interest in portraiture. During this time Asher's dedication has won him several awards including ******** and ******** (list your two most prestigious awards) strengthening his ambitions of one day becoming a professional photographer."

Something like that?



thanks thats so good
GlennH 9 1.9k 1 France
1 Apr 2012 11:38AM
I'd rework Miles' kindly written piece a little, Asher, with every respect to him. Possessive 'it' doesn't have an apostrophe for instance, although I make no pretence at being grammatically perfect myself. I'd also dice it up a bit to make it more easily readable. Something like the following, perhaps, based on the well-written original:


Quote:"Asher Reynolds is a young photographer living in Dorset, where he has developed a great passion for photography. He specialises in scenic images of the beautiful Dorset landscape as well as focusing on its wildlife, and more recently has shown a growing interest in portraiture. Asher's dedication has won him several awards, including ******** and ******** (list your two most prestigious awards) strengthening his ambitions of one day becoming a professional photographer."


Smile
GlennH 9 1.9k 1 France
1 Apr 2012 12:00PM
P.S. the last bit probably could do with some punctuation and minor adjustment as well, Asher. Final alteration (from me):


Quote:Asher Reynolds is a young photographer living in Dorset, where he has developed a great passion for photography. He specialises in scenic images of the beautiful Dorset landscape as well as focusing on its wildlife, and more recently has shown a growing interest in portraiture. Asher's dedication has won him several awards, including ******** and ******** (list your two most prestigious awards): strengthening his ambition of one day becoming a professional photographer."
thatmanbrian e2
3 342 3 United Kingdom
1 Apr 2012 1:27PM
I think a comma not a colon before strengthening perhaps?
rossd 11 1.1k England
1 Apr 2012 3:19PM
There was a similar topic

here

Maybe of some help.

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