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You've got to laugh.


Fogey 1 70 13 United Kingdom
17 Apr 2013 1:59PM
Now I've heard it all!

Doorbell rings.......... Door answered.............. There stood a stranger who needed a shave.

"Good morning Sir", he says, touching his ID tag around his neck.

"Can you not read", says I, indicating the No Cold Callers sign displayed prominently at eye level.

"I'm not a cold caller", says he. "I'm a professional communicator".

"Do I know you"?, says I.

"No", says he.

"Did I ask you to call"?, says I.

"No", says he.

"Then you're a cold caller", says I, closing the door.

So much for his professional communication.

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lobsterboy e2
10 14.2k 13 United Kingdom
17 Apr 2013 2:03PM
Well as you didn't pay him he is now a mere "amateur communicator".
Ade_Osman e2
11 4.5k 36 England
17 Apr 2013 2:04PM
Much have been the same bloke trying to knock my door down the other evening, only I wasn't so tactful when I pointed out the No Cold Caller sign and suggested he might like to leave my property.......Only in not so many words Blush
cattyal e2
9 6.1k 6 England
17 Apr 2013 2:11PM
Mum had a cold call yesterday - she politely told them that she wasn't interested and hung up. A few minutes they rang her again and told her that she, mum, was very rude - mum replied "yes I am" and hung up again Smile well I found it amusing Smile
Nigeyboy 6 537 United Kingdom
17 Apr 2013 2:20PM
We had our windows and sofits done a few years ago, and we still get window salesmen knocking on the door asking if we'd be interested in new windows - I say to them "do you not look at the house before you knock?!?!"

The calls are the worst though - got one the other day from an Indian sounding chap called 'Malcolm'. told me that he was from a computer company (cant recall the name), and that did I know my PC had a potential virus. He could of course remove it for me. Told him I was a Windows Engineer - he hung up!!!!!
lobsterboy e2
10 14.2k 13 United Kingdom
17 Apr 2013 2:28PM

Quote:The calls are the worst though - got one the other day from an Indian sounding chap called 'Malcolm'. told me that he was from a computer company (cant recall the name), and that did I know my PC had a potential virus. He could of course remove it for me. Told him I was a Windows Engineer - he hung up!!!!!


You missed out on hours of fun:
"press the enter key"
"entry keys you say - well they are up stairs on the bedroom cabinet, I'll just go and get them. Do you think it will help if I leave the front door open? Only my friend gladys reckons you need to regularly air the house to get rid of any ghosts. oh do you think it could be a ghost in the machine? Only you can't be too careful with spirits and stuff,I was just reading my horrorscope and they said that venus iss in the 3rd house of Sagittarius which means I could experience some fluctuation in my energies. Do you think that could be the problem ?
"no sir the enter key on the keyboard"
"I don't have an enter key..."
Smile
alansnap e2
10 529 22 United Kingdom
17 Apr 2013 3:50PM
Next time I get someone calling for her indoors I'm going to try:
"What do you mean? That's my beloved wife who died last week. YOu are awful harassing someone in such a position." Then burst into tears before I hang up.
Or
"Who do you want? She has left me and I'm desperate to find her. Do you know where she is? Tell me please, I'm desperate."
OR one I have used
"That person no longer lives here stop calling her."
Then I hang up.

Grin
saltireblue e2
4 4.1k 26 Norway
17 Apr 2013 4:31PM
I find, "Just a second, I need to inform you that I am recording this conversation for evidence purposes. Please state your name and which company you represent" usually causes them to become all flustered and invariably chicken out.

Malc
adrian_w e2
7 3.4k 4 Scotland
17 Apr 2013 4:54PM
"Oh hello, you sound like a nice boy. Are you a nice boy?
I'm so glad you rang, d'you know I haven't chatted to anyone for so long.
Have you goit time for a good chat?
Don't get to talk much these days as all my old friends seem to have gone away.
Would you like to be my new friend?....."
Click, brrrrrrrrr........
puertouk 3 1.1k 17 United Kingdom
17 Apr 2013 4:58PM
We get the occasional call, Spanish person on the other end and there's not one of them, that can speak English! Tongue I tell them, no habla Espanol and either the phone goes dead or I get some sort of mumbled reply and then the phone goes dead. Strange that English is the most widely spoken language in the World expect for Tenerife! Blush
17 Apr 2013 6:40PM
i am always tempted to tell them that their call is really important to me and that they are 27th in the queue and then hum greensleeves at them -
Big Bri 13 15.6k United Kingdom
18 Apr 2013 8:29AM
We just get the charity people coming round... "But sir, I'm not buying or selling". No, you want me to listen to 30 seconds of pleading then sign a direct debit form. When I tell them I'll have a look at their website and decide later if I want to donate they look heartbroken (cos they don't get their commission on that).
Big Bri 13 15.6k United Kingdom
18 Apr 2013 8:33AM

Quote:We had our windows and sofits done a few years ago, and we still get window salesmen knocking on the door asking if we'd be interested in new windows - I say to them "do you not look at the house before you knock?!?!"


We had a company ask us if we were interested in new doors and windows, so I pointed out that we already had good ones (which were looking fab as we had just cleaned them). He said, "Ah but they might not be very good ones, do you mind me asking who fitted them?" I replied "You did"....


Quote:The calls are the worst though - got one the other day from an Indian sounding chap called 'Malcolm'. told me that he was from a computer company (cant recall the name), and that did I know my PC had a potential virus. He could of course remove it for me. Told him I was a Windows Engineer - he hung up!!!!!

I get this all the time. Sometimes I just ask "which one?" as I have 8 PCs in the house..... Sometimes I laugh at them til they hang up.... Sometimes I try and talk to them "Sorry, but I know you're talking bollocks. Does your mother know you do this? I bet she would be ashamed of you"
18 Apr 2013 12:05PM
Last time I just said "Well, our usual window cleaner will around tomorrow - he always does a good job".

Quite reasonable too Smile
Carabosse e2
11 39.5k 269 England
18 Apr 2013 12:33PM
Good lord, it's Jas.......... where've you been for the last 5 months? Smile

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