Bournemouth memorial for Flight Lieutenant Jon Egging

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21 Aug 2012 - 11:31 AM

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NEWMANP (Critique Team)

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21 Aug 2012 - 11:31 AM

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a fabulous structure of a memorial. taken well against a complementary sky.

from a photographic point of view, id be tempted to tilt the camera at jaunty angle and crop such that only the planes and trails are in the image without all the rocks, sea etc below.

i do understand you may have wished to portray a pure record of a new memorial. my suggestion is merely based on producing an artistic interpretation that would be more suitable for competitions and publication.

have a play with it, you may like the result.

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best regards
Phil

pamelajean (Critique Team)

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21 Aug 2012 - 12:49 PM

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Hi, Darren, it's interesting to see this magnificent memorial, and when I first saw the thumbnail, I thought it was the real thing.
It's beautifully constructed and you have good light and detail in your picture.
I have a feeling that you put this picture into the Critique Gallery just to avoid getting votes on it, and seeing that you say, "I look at photography as bit fun and dont take it seriously", in your portfolio, I am wondering if you really want critique.

I am thinking very much the same as Phil. It is a very good record shot of the memorial, but if you wanted to present it with a touch more impact, there are things you can do.
You have placed the structure in the centre of your frame, and if you look at a crop which would offset it in the frame, you might be surprised at the difference.
You say that it is near completion, and I wonder if they are going to do something with the rocks at the bottom? As the image stands, the rocks and bit of fencing don't enhance the memorial, so going back after completion would probably give you a cleaner image. At the moment, I think the memorial would look good with just a bit of sea at the bottom, or even just sky as the background. You have left some sky above the planes, which is perfect, as they need space to "fly into".
Pamela.

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