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trying to bring out smile in the eyes

Brand:Canon
Camera:Canon EOS 450D
Recording media:JPEG (digital)
Date Taken:3 Sep 2011 - 1:34 PM
Focal Length:50mm
Aperture:f/4.5
Shutter Speed:1/60sec
Exposure Comp:0.0
ISO:400
Exposure Mode:Program AE
Metering Mode:Multi-segment
Flash:On, Fired
Title:fan
Username:derhad derhad
Uploaded:8 Jan 2012 - 7:52 PM
Tags:Black & white, Hope
VS Mode Rating 101 (100% won)
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Has Modifications Modifications Welcome (Upload a Modification)
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Comments

This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.
miptog
miptog  83532 forum posts United Kingdom61 Constructive Critique Points
8 Jan 2012 - 8:23 PM

Looks good to me, as does the post processing. Yes. there is also a smile in the eyes, and this can make a real difference. Suggestions; tighter crop and take out the shadow area just above the models left side.

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paulbroad
paulbroad  781 forum posts United Kingdom850 Constructive Critique Points
9 Jan 2012 - 8:03 AM

Nice shot, but some off the top, left and bottom to tighten up considerably.

Paul

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salopian
salopian e2 Member 2salopian vcard United Kingdom18 Constructive Critique Points
9 Jan 2012 - 11:09 AM

The smile comes over well - a really heart warming image and I can't offer any suggestions to improve itSmile

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pamelajean
pamelajean Critique Team 8755 forum postspamelajean vcard United Kingdom1589 Constructive Critique Points
10 Jan 2012 - 9:38 PM

This is nicely done, Derek, and quite enigmatic with the fan across the mouth. I like the idea of the smile being in the eyes. There are a few minor adjustments that I would like to suggest, and which I have made in my modification. The spots on the dress are distracting, so I cloned them out. There are some dark areas within the shadow behind the head, and I cloned these out also. The eyes are the subject, so I selectively sharpened them. There is a dark area where the fan is covering the corner of the girl's smile and, at first glance, I thought you were showing a little bit of the smile/mouth. Looking more closely, it's the "shadow of the smile" behind the edge of the lace of the fan that is causing the dark area, so I removed that as well.
Pamela.

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derhad
derhad  6 United Kingdom
11 Jan 2012 - 9:06 AM

thank you for all your comments i have just started in portraits and welcome all your helpful ways of inproving my work

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