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moving down the line

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3rd from my Tate series. I'm again looking for feedback and advice regarding post production which was done in lightroom. I also welcome any comments regarding any other aspects of the image.

My thanks in advance

exif
1/100 sec
f9
iso 5000
50mm
no flash

Camera:Canon EOS 7D
Lens:canon 1.8 50mm
Recording media:JPEG (digital)
Title:moving down the line
Username:Unit8 Unit8
Uploaded:26 Apr 2010 - 7:37 AM
Tags:Black & white, Photo journalism, Portraits / people
VS Mode Rating 102 (100% won)
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Comments

This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.
vickyf
vickyf e2 Member 8vickyf vcard United Kingdom8 Constructive Critique Points
26 Apr 2010 - 7:48 AM

I really like this shot. I'd be inclined to remove the frame by the girl's head as it is a bit distracting - it would also give a slightly surreal feel to the image, although you may not want this.

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iancatch
iancatch  7 England45 Constructive Critique Points
26 Apr 2010 - 8:13 AMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

I like this image very much and it suits the mono format. I agree with the frame removal around the girls head but it depends on how accurate you want to keep the image.

You are a little close to their feet for me too in the composition and I would have given more space. The frames on the wall give a nice almost 'negatve' lead in as they lead the eye away from the main subject (the girls) which is kinda clever.

You have good dof and everything is pin sharp but you could have tried shooting closer and mire down the wall to give a narrower dof. This may have added more perspective and a little more interest/drama.

Hope this helps

Ian

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freybird
freybird  8 England1 Constructive Critique Points
26 Apr 2010 - 9:27 AM

Nice as a mono, great comp. Geoff

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TheWanderer
26 Apr 2010 - 11:43 AMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

Yeah the feet are a bit close for me as well but you can always add a little more floor. I wouldn't get rid of the frame to the right of the woman but i would add another picture in front of them as they look as if they are just staring at an empty part of the wall.

All that aside i think you did a good job and like your creative approach. Smile

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MediumSizeUnavailable

some strange 'blotting' near the lhs border of the frame. did you clone out something (or someone) there ?

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banehawi
banehawi Critique Team 10821 forum postsbanehawi vcard Canada2821 Constructive Critique Points
26 Apr 2010 - 2:03 PM

This is a really good shot. Apart from "normal" post processing, was there anything additional you did so we could comment, - IM referring to the above reference to cloning on the lhs?


W

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banehawi
banehawi Critique Team 10821 forum postsbanehawi vcard Canada2821 Constructive Critique Points
26 Apr 2010 - 2:27 PM

Came back and loaded a mod. I cleaned up thew lhs, and added a line at the wall/floor joint to accentuate the existing line. Added some contrast, and framed, - hope this is useful, - nice pic worth doing a little work on.


Willie

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Unit8
Unit8  4 United Kingdom1 Constructive Critique Points
26 Apr 2010 - 4:34 PM

Thank you all very much for the marvellous critique and comments, you really are too kind.
All the post production has been done in Lightroom.
I have now posted the original image and as you will see I cleaned up quite a few marks and unwanted stuff. I cropped and realigned the image to get a nicer look. Then I selected a user preset (RAW B&W 2 which I downloaded online). I then just tinkered a little to get it to how I liked it.

I love the mod Willie, what did you do to add the line? it certainly improves the picture.

I didn't know the people in the picture, I was just trying to record what I saw so I couldn't really improve their positioning but I will take more care in future when positioning myself. I am quite new to this type of photography and I still get a little self conscious when snapping strangers but I think this will pass.

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banehawi
banehawi Critique Team 10821 forum postsbanehawi vcard Canada2821 Constructive Critique Points
26 Apr 2010 - 5:07 PM

In Photoshop, I selected line draw, and drew a 2 pixel black line over the joint. I then overlaid the "joint" pic on the non joint pic and used opacity to fade a little.


W

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banehawi
banehawi Critique Team 10821 forum postsbanehawi vcard Canada2821 Constructive Critique Points
26 Apr 2010 - 8:03 PM

Cant agree with the removal of the frame at the girls head, - it may result in her looking at the wall?


W

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Unit8
Unit8  4 United Kingdom1 Constructive Critique Points
26 Apr 2010 - 8:13 PM

that second mod is very abstract Willie, but I prefer your first one, its more real or believable, but I can see that the second mod is very interesting.

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