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close up, black and white with touch of red,audrey
Firstly, let me start out with the positives: It's generally a good strong image - the style does reflect 'wot it says on the tin' and I like the very shallow depth of field emphasising the eye, which is quite beautiful.
But a few things could (MO) radically improve the image. A minor thing first - I'd clone out the tiny flecks of mascara that have strayed to the right of the eye. Second, presuming you've got a colour image out of the camera, rather than adding the colour to the lips (which I think looks a little crude within the context of this particular image), after you've done your B&W conversion, change the colour space back to rgb and restore the colour to the lips using the history bruch (I'm presuming you're using Photoshop).
Finally and most drastically, it would appear you've shot this at the wider end of your zoom range. This unfortunately has the effect of distorting the model's features, making the nose too broad and the eyes too wide. That's why portraits are most often taken with longer focal length lenses - it's a more flattering look. Obviously this would mean a reshoot.
Of course it may well be that you're aware of all this and these were the effects you were going for.
In any case this still has a lot going for it and I like the image well enought to think it deserves my vote.
Like the crop and tones in this - Well worked.
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