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Pannee

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She is Pannee, my new model from the next city. She is very young, but very-very beautiful!
This is her first photoshoot, but not the last! XD

C&C welcome!

Camera:Nikon D70S Check out Nikon Nation!
Lens:Nikon 50mm F:1.8
Recording media:RAW (digital)
Title:Pannee
Username:illuzioo illuzioo
Uploaded:2 Sep 2008 - 8:19 AM
Tags:Beauty young, Fashion, Flash / lighting, Nude / glamour, Portraits / people
VS Mode Rating 102 (100% won)
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Comments

This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.
kaybee
kaybee  103761 forum posts Scotland24 Constructive Critique Points
2 Sep 2008 - 10:40 AMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

Nice idea but for me it doesn't quite hit the mark.

The face isn't quite sharp enough - that may be from the compression for uploading (you could try sharpening it slightly after compression) but I am not sure.

Also the wee triangle of skin on the left needs cropped as it tends to draw the eye over there.

The models right shoulder is raised a bit too much and it makes it look like her arm comes out of her ear.

It sounds like I am just pulling this shot apart but when you have asked for critique I have to tell it as I see it. However, if this was her first shoot then both of you will be a bit nervous and your next shoot will produce much more relaxed shots

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illuzioo
illuzioo  6
2 Sep 2008 - 12:15 PM

Kaybee:

Really thanks the comment. I watch the photo again and again and I agree with you. The shoulder not at the right height. I will sharpen the following images for the quality. Thanks again.

Géza

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tim g
tim g  10 United Kingdom
2 Sep 2008 - 4:16 PM

Works for me , lovely professional image.

Tim

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semas
semas  7 United Kingdom
3 Sep 2008 - 7:16 AM

Apart from the comments above, something that also caught my eye was the lovely models eyeshadow. I think she is pretty enough without the distracting green/shimmering around her eyes.
Apart from that, nice shot.

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paulbroad
paulbroad  681 forum posts United Kingdom840 Constructive Critique Points
3 Sep 2008 - 8:52 PM

At first sight a fine shot of a lovely girl - but then I see things. Your focal point is obvious, and not the eyes - and the hand on the right becomes very prominent. Despite her obvious beauty and atributes, I would still concentrate on those rather nice eyes.

I would crop much tighter to just below the bust and some off left and right.

paul

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banehawi
banehawi Critique Team 10777 forum postsbanehawi vcard Canada2782 Constructive Critique Points
3 Sep 2008 - 11:52 PM

I have uploaded a mod with these suggestions, - including everything said by the above, with:

An alternate crop. showing how it would look if you had left more room at the top in the original (I didnt try to fill in a fake hair!). What this does is focus on the eyes and face, - the eyes are on a "thirds" intersection.

Its a suggestion, and hope it helps


Regards


Willie

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Hoffy
Hoffy  9212 forum posts England16 Constructive Critique Points
4 Sep 2008 - 10:16 PM

Nice looking model, you are goig to have some nice shoots with her, this is a give effort but have to agree with Kaybee that the face is not strong enough, the breast is the dominate part of the image.

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xGei8ht
xGei8ht  5 United Kingdom
13 Dec 2011 - 6:49 PM

The photo is fine imo.

I think the trouble lies in the models eyebrows and hairline.

Brows are too straight and hairline cuts of the rest of the face and makeup under eyes should have been same colour as skirt.

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