Paulette

paulbroad

4

10 Feb 2012 - 7:50 AM

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A very pleasant and well composed portrait. The sitter will be pleased. I would like a hair light just to add a bit more detail there, or even a backlight. I often used to put a tiny flash gun with slave on a thin home made stand behind the sitters head flashing back towards the camera - that gave a super rim light.

Paul

JackAllTog (e2 Member)

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10 Feb 2012 - 1:46 PM

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I'm still very much trying to learn good portrait photography, but in terms of critique maybe the curtain at the back detracts from the shot. A flat black cloth, or more light one the model and less on the curtain to turn it completely black might help.
Also I feel its cropped just a bit tight as the top of her hair is just clipped and there does not seem to be too much space the the right.
I think I'd ideally want a reflector on the RHS as the harsh edge of the light just clips her top lip and creates a tiny wrinkle shadow.
I'm not too sure with this point but here goes - you are quite close with a 55mm lens and her face 'may' be a tad distorted due to this - do you have a longer lens - maybe 70-200 at the 70 end? If you have certain software packages you can remove any such distortion. Or it may just be that the image is cropped so tight.
Regarding the model - her dark blue under eye eyeline seems at odds with her lovely green eyes, and there seems to be a touch of over yellow on the skin under her left cheek and between her eyebrows - this may be due to the image colours being a touch too much saturated.

Overall i think this is great and i'd be proud to have this image in my portfolio, i've just ordered an octobox to get the lovely catch lights you have.
Kind regards,
Stuart

banehawi (Critique Team)

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10 Feb 2012 - 5:17 PM

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A good shot overall Doug.

A couple of tweaks, that for me at least can improve the shot.

I would darken the background some more, - as Jack suggested; increase exposure slightly; I would prefer a crop more in line with a thirds composition, - and for an 8 X 10 that involves a crop of space at the top, while adding some space to the right; adding the canvas to the right is quite easy as its a plain dark background.

Looking closely, I would reduce the size of the catch lights (not avoidable when shooting); sharpen her eyes; reduce the yellow tone a little; sharpen her eyes; remove the reflection on the top of her nose.


Ive also desaturated a small amount, - just to get the red down a bit on her top.


Ive loaded 2 mods to show what I mean, - mod2 has just a little more exposure on the right side.




Good work,


Regards



Willie

DouglasMorley

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10 Feb 2012 - 11:58 PM

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Thank you all for your comments, ideas and the modifications. There is much food for thought.