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I chose black and white as it was a rather yellow party picture on high ISO. I would love to know about improvement ideas both as a portrait and on combinig the diptych. Does it appear imbalanced perhaps?

Camera:Canon EOS 5D MkII
Lens:Cannon fixed 50 1.8
Recording media:JPEG (digital)
Title:Portrait
Username:EllieEdge EllieEdge
Uploaded:29 Sep 2009 - 8:32 PM
Tags:Portraits / people
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Votes:12
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mrswoolybill
mrswoolybill Critique Team 8525 forum postsmrswoolybill vcard United Kingdom1089 Constructive Critique Points
29 Sep 2009 - 9:39 PMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

Both are beautiful portraits but I would prefer to see them separately - the imbalance that you mention comes from the differences in scale and focus. Individually I think they would be much stronger.
Moira

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banehawi
banehawi Critique Team 10979 forum postsbanehawi vcard Canada2981 Constructive Critique Points
30 Sep 2009 - 4:25 AM

If you want to stay with a diptych, I would suggest placing the left shot on the right, and flipping the other shot horizontally?


W

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EllieEdge
EllieEdge  7 Norway42 Constructive Critique Points
30 Sep 2009 - 8:43 AM

Thank you for the comments. It is a great learning experience to see your work through someone elses eyes. And both your suggestions are better than my initial attempt. Smile
- Ellie

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riprap007
riprap007  101568 forum posts England37 Constructive Critique Points
30 Sep 2009 - 6:38 PM

I would move the left shot to the right but NOT flip the other

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EllieEdge
EllieEdge  7 Norway42 Constructive Critique Points
30 Sep 2009 - 6:39 PM

It would be fun to show her the flipped one and see if she notices Smile

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Fogey
Fogey  183 forum posts United Kingdom13 Constructive Critique Points
21 Feb 2013 - 9:47 AM

Two nice poses. On both shots, I note that there is a very shallow depth of field. The first has the focus on the edges of the subjects glasses, leaving the face blurred, the second leaving the necklace, midway, blurred.

With the absence of exif data, it's difficult to say what the camera settings were on, but I would guess at something like f3.5.

The photographs would have been better taken at an f stop of something like 5.6, to get a better depth of field, bringing the entire subject into focus.

I agree with the comment about single portraits, rather than the diptych presentation. A pass with noise removal would serve the images well.

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pablophotographer

Hello Ellie.

I like your diptych.
One of my first thoughts was to alternate the position of the photos, as I noticed below later suggested by banehawi. Left becomes right.
But when I tried to understand the timing of the pictures and your interaction with the lady, I thought the current setting represents a natural flow of human interaction, intrusion, interruption, recognition, acceptance and posing. Suppose it was during a lecture you attend and you take photos of when you notice your teacher, Mrs Ulv, focused reading the programme of the day. You shoot in a rushed way your first shot and then you say : 'hello Mrs Ulv, I am Ellie your student back in 1998, remember me?' and then she recognizes you and replies and accept to pose for you, so you arrange the settings and you take the second shot.

I don't mind the difference in the proportion of the heads visible in the two pictures but the difference in the vividness of the garment between the first and the second picture somehow spoils for me the impact of your diptych. It is a matter of different aperture used, is my guess. If you could make all three parts of her garment fabric look as dark as the one closest to the viewer on your second frame, that could possibly unify the diptych.

Best regards,
pablophotographer

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