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One of my first attempts working with studio flash
These are modifications uploaded by other members of the photo above. Download the photo by right clicking Download Photo and clicking Save As.
Welcome to EPZ Andrew.
The idea is good, - trying to catch the smoke., and overall its decent.
The expression of the subject lets it down a little, - maybe you were both focused in the smoke, so it appears he has no connection with the camera. Try nect time to have his shoulders turned with the front shoulder nearer the camera, rather than square as it is here. With smoke, have him exhale very slowly, rather than blow, or have the cigarette itself provide smoke, held below the face.
The manual settings for most studio work would have the shutter speed set to the max flash synch speed, - which is either 1/200 or 1/250 with your camera (check the manual), - 1/80 is slow.
Composition has placed him too central in the frame, and it can look better if hes placed more to the right, as in the mod.
I have reduced exposure on his face in the mod, - theres a little too much light being reflected from the face, and Ive lightened the smoke, cropped and sharpened.
I see you have used a negative exposure of -4/3, so looks like you were working with overexposed shots. Try instead to set the speed as suggested, and then use the aperture to reduce exposure if you cannot control the light power from the flash itself.
Hope this is helpful,
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