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Susan 1

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Hi Folks

Well after a truly awful 2 weeks of family health scares ( they say things come in threes, we have had 3......) first submission for a while .

This comes from a little oasis in the recent chaos, a photo shoot with a local woman who is working to rebuild her portfolio. As a young woman she split her career into two as a jockey and a model. She then suffered a horrific attack by a drug addict, a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time . She experienced severe head injuries and a crushed hand and multiple breaks to her shoulder. Many operations and two careers finished she settled into family life had a child and is now seeking to follow up on her career as a model again.

She is an exceptional talent and it was a real joy to work with her.

Steve

Brand:Canon
Camera:Canon EOS 5D MkII
Lens:Sigma 105mm f/2.8 Macro EX
Recording media:JPEG (digital)
Date Taken:15 Dec 2013 - 3:09 PM
Focal Length:105mm
Lens Max Aperture:f/2.7
Aperture:f/7.1
Shutter Speed:1/125sec
Exposure Comp:0.0
ISO:100
Exposure Mode:Manual
Metering Mode:Multi-segment
Flash:Off, Did not fire
White Balance:Manual
Title:Susan 1
Username:stevesloan stevesloan
Uploaded:18 Dec 2013 - 10:27 AM
Tags:Black & white, Portraits / people
Votes:18
Variant - TestsVariant - Tests

Comments

nonur
nonur e2 Member 6nonur vcard Turkey8 Constructive Critique Points
18 Dec 2013 - 11:11 AM

Hope everything gets better soon, Steve. V1 is quite different, V2 is excellent.

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stevesloan
18 Dec 2013 - 11:15 AM

Thanks for the kind words Nezih. Susan wanted some striking " out of the box" portraits hence the treatment of V1, but as something of a traditionalist I prefer the tones in V2 as well. Steve

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Irishkate
Irishkate e2 Member 431 forum postsIrishkate vcard United Kingdom76 Constructive Critique Points
18 Dec 2013 - 12:27 PM

Sad but inspirational story - best wishes to Susan.
I like the reflective feel to both images and especially like V1.
Eyelashes, earrings and painted nails - all feminine and delicate.
I just want to remove the lower bit of the stray hair - not all of it.
Kate GrinGrinGrin

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stevesloan
18 Dec 2013 - 12:36 PM

I know what you mean Kate but not easy in post processing, it would have created other issues. It is one of those " why didn't I see that when I took the photo!" issues which often crops up in portraiture!

Steve

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woolybill1
woolybill1 e2 Member 8woolybill1 vcard United Kingdom65 Constructive Critique Points
18 Dec 2013 - 3:17 PM

Sad stories that have turned out well in the end . . . .
I can see what V1 is aiming at but the hand/face tonal contrast jars. The composition pleases, however, but my preference is for V2.
Regards
Bill

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mrswoolybill
mrswoolybill Critique Team 8528 forum postsmrswoolybill vcard United Kingdom1092 Constructive Critique Points
18 Dec 2013 - 4:49 PM

Calming...
I prefer the pose of V1, the processing of V2.
I am difficult to please...
Moira

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scrimmy
scrimmy e2 Member 6379 forum postsscrimmy vcard Scotland5 Constructive Critique Points
18 Dec 2013 - 5:10 PM

V1 lovely portrait...I don't mind the hand/face contrast ...it focus's my attention on the face I feel....but that distraction to the left has to go Smile

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stevesloan
18 Dec 2013 - 6:17 PM

As you can probably tell I am quite invested in V1 so taking comments into account I have uploaded more versions, including a colour original, I'd be interested in your views

Steve

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woolybill1
woolybill1 e2 Member 8woolybill1 vcard United Kingdom65 Constructive Critique Points
18 Dec 2013 - 7:27 PM

V3 and V4 both work better than V1, Steve, in my view. While the composition remains dramatic the skin tones are more even; also what appears to be a cluster of lights floating in the air on the left of V1 is explained as the studs on a wrist band. The more you vignette the background (as in V5) the stranger this looks, until the complete disappearance of the arm in V1 removes all explanation of what it's doing (and it is clearly not bokeh so it looks rather awkward). In the vignetted versions it might be better to remove this object all together.
I meant to mention this originally but was distracted and forgot BlushBlushBlush
Returning to V1, I suspect that the darker tones on Susan's left hand emanate from vignetting anyway.
I can't think of any more offhand, except that I'd love to see more of your work with Susan.
Hope this helps.
Regards
Bill

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leontari
leontari e2 Member 2leontari vcard Greece
19 Dec 2013 - 12:17 AM

All are suberb, but for me V2 and V5, work better.
Effrossini

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mrswoolybill
mrswoolybill Critique Team 8528 forum postsmrswoolybill vcard United Kingdom1092 Constructive Critique Points
19 Dec 2013 - 9:10 AM

Sorry I didn't get back to this last night, other matters intervened. V5 works best for me, it has a cold aloof quality. V4 is almost there but lacks a sense of luminosity in the skin tones.
In both I would paint out the arm, bangle and bit of basketwork on the left.
Thanks for adding the new versions, this is an image worth working on.
Moira

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Irishkate
Irishkate e2 Member 431 forum postsIrishkate vcard United Kingdom76 Constructive Critique Points
19 Dec 2013 - 10:10 AM

V5 works best for me too but without the cuff for simplicity I think.
The skin tones in V1, although pale do look like porcelain and give Susan a Madonna like purity.
you could play with that idea again. Purely a personal opinion.
I'd like to see more work with your new model too and good luck to you both.
Kate GrinGrinGrin

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stevesloan
19 Dec 2013 - 4:30 PM

Thanks everyone for your really helpful comments, they are really very much appreciated - Steve

Last Modified By stevesloan at 19 Dec 2013 - 4:31 PM

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dudler
dudler Critique Team 11163 forum postsdudler vcard England390 Constructive Critique Points
26 Feb 2014 - 6:00 PM

Intriguing background, and I wish her very well indeed.

I like the treatment in V1, as I tend (still!) to use very grainy film for this sort of effect. It works so well for emphasising the delicacy of a model. Too bad David Hamilton got the technique a bad name with very young models (what DO you do with copies of his books? Legally sold in the Seventies and Eighties, but highly dubious now!)

The only thing is that I reckon the processing is slightly overdone round her eyes - a touch of the Panda Effect... Too much burning in? Other than this, it's lovely, and V1 is ahead by a mile.

Afterthought: is it possible to clone out that bright bit on the left, in the background, or at least burn it in to reduce its prominence?

Last Modified By dudler at 26 Feb 2014 - 6:02 PM

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Franko59
Franko59  3 England1 Constructive Critique Points
21 Apr 2014 - 6:05 PM

Great images subtly done with thought and care for the model! I hope life improves for her and yourself! Regards Ian

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