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Train to Shimla

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I am not quite sure about this shot. I like the subject, but think either the cropping or there is something else i could have done to improve the presentation. (All suggestions gratefully received)

Brand:FUJIFILM
Camera:Fujifilm FinePix F30 Zoom
Recording media:JPEG (digital)
Date Taken:31 Mar 2011 - 7:28 AM
Focal Length:24mm
Lens Max Aperture:f/2.8
Aperture:f/5.0
Shutter Speed:1/480sec
Exposure Comp:0.0
ISO:100
Exposure Mode:Program AE
Metering Mode:Multi-segment
Flash:Auto, Did not fire
Title:Train to Shimla
Username:christopherdavid christopherdavid
Uploaded:4 Oct 2011 - 10:07 AM
Tags:Photo journalism, Portraits / people, Transport
VS Mode Rating 102 (100% won)
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Votes:11
Variant - TestsVariant - Tests

Comments

BarryC123
BarryC123  543 forum posts Ireland25 Constructive Critique Points
4 Oct 2011 - 10:19 AMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

Personally, I'd crop right down to just the girl in the open window frame, everything else here is unnecessary.
You've captured a nice expression, and very fine light.
Admittedly that doesn't give any real clue to where she is, but I think that hardly matters here.

It might also be worth trying a B+W conversion - the contrasts would work well.

Last Modified By BarryC123 at 4 Oct 2011 - 10:20 AM

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KingBee
KingBee e2 Member 8329 forum postsKingBee vcard Scotland2 Constructive Critique Points
4 Oct 2011 - 10:26 AM

A truly excellent capture. I think it works fine without a crop because as shown here it provides context. A briliant shot in any event. Bob

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photophantom
4 Oct 2011 - 10:37 AM


Quote: A truly excellent capture. I think it works fine without a crop because as shown here it provides context. A briliant shot in any event. Bob

indeed.

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woolybill1
woolybill1 e2 Member 7woolybill1 vcard United Kingdom65 Constructive Critique Points
4 Oct 2011 - 12:57 PMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

I do like this very much for the girl's body language, her expression and the detail retained in the shadow over her eyes.

I don't feel comfortable with the image as-is but I'm hard pressed to explain why. If you don't mind I'll have a go:

Square format is very formal, and the straight lines within this image, the window frame and the painted coach line, share this formality. The effect is reinforced by the black background that you have used in that the edges of the picture are sharply defined. The bottom edge of the window frame, however, is ever so slightly out of parallel with the edge of the picture; this is only significant in that it distracts from the essence of the composition - the contrast between the formality of the setting and the informality of the girls' posture.

That being said, I think you have captured the fleeting moment enviably well. I'd love it in my portfolio!

Bill

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bertie1983
4 Oct 2011 - 4:30 PM

love the comp and think you've caught the mood of the scene wonderfully!Smile

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