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Sitting at the train station trying to do something imaginative on the way home, put camera on bench and framed a chap waiting. An experiment. 4 sec @ f16 ISO400 40-150mm@40mm

Camera:Olympus E 420
Lens:Zuiko Digital 40-150mm
Recording media:RAW (digital)
Title:Waiting
Username:Alciabides Alciabides
Uploaded:11 Mar 2009 - 10:30 PM
Tags:Architecture, Landscape / travel, Portraits / people
VS Mode Rating 99 (0% won)
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Comments

This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.
NEWMANP
NEWMANP e2 Member 61583 forum postsNEWMANP vcard United Kingdom574 Constructive Critique Points
11 Mar 2009 - 10:50 PMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

its a good idea and more effective than it would have been taken in daylight.

i like the way you have framed the figure within the structure of the bench,

not sure about the sign above the figure, may be better cloned out or cropped down.

i think its worth playing with this idea, you could be on to a winner, it looks as if you have also caught a train zooming through and maybe on a different occasion you could adjust the position of the camera to make more of this in the frame
Phil

Last Modified By NEWMANP at 11 Mar 2009 - 10:53 PM

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ketch
ketch e2 Member 6770 forum postsketch vcard Turks and Caicos Islands50 Constructive Critique Points
11 Mar 2009 - 11:02 PMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

Well its better than framing a chimp I guess! I like this shot enormously and picking up Phil's note the way you have used the bench arm to frame the guy makes this really quite a powerful shot IMO.

I think there is just too much bench fg though and parhaps think about a crop at the break in the pattern. The sign is also a bit of a challenge but it helps to build the context for the image I suspect.

Not too bad for a philosopher...

Best wishes

Robert

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gary_d
gary_d e2 Member 6519 forum postsgary_d vcard Wales12 Constructive Critique Points
11 Mar 2009 - 11:33 PM

Not much I can say that has not already been said very well except to say I like this a lot. - gary

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Alciabides
12 Mar 2009 - 10:26 AM

Thanks to you all, I wait there most days so will try some variations.

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wrinkles
wrinkles e2 Member 5346 forum postswrinkles vcard United Kingdom
12 Mar 2009 - 10:44 AM

For me this is a brilliant picture because of the angle it's taken at,and the subject matter.Very well done.

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Eviscera
Eviscera  81099 forum posts United Kingdom149 Constructive Critique Points
12 Mar 2009 - 6:08 PMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

Hi David.

This ticks a lot of the right boxes for an experiment !

I like the signs "help" juxtaposition with the guy seemingly on the phone , leaving the viewer to interpret this stark [lace.

As the location has a lot of graphic lines and chaotic shadows , you might want to try an experiment in monochrome and enhance the atmosphere.

I did a quick and dirty mod that attempts to remove the somewhat distracting sulphorous light , corrects your angles (it didnt seem "dynamic" enough a tilt to be effective) and crops the foreground distraction as mentioned.

Subjective stuff , just a thought.

Dave

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Alciabides
12 Mar 2009 - 7:01 PM

Thanks Dave, that gives it a nice French detective film quality - grit and mystery.

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pamelajean
pamelajean Critique Team 8752 forum postspamelajean vcard United Kingdom1579 Constructive Critique Points
12 Mar 2009 - 7:04 PMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

Hello, David, so glad this has received positive comments, because I think it's an excellent idea and really like the framing provided by the bench and wall, as well as the contrasts of gold and black. Imaginative indeed. I've done a quick modification where I straightened the image using the line of the bench seat, cropped it, adjusted highlights and shadows and added a touch of contrast. I cloned out just a few spots/highlights, too.
Pamela.

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Eviscera
Eviscera  81099 forum posts United Kingdom149 Constructive Critique Points
12 Mar 2009 - 7:20 PM

it already had the atmos Wink

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Alciabides
12 Mar 2009 - 8:08 PM

Really my cup runneth over ...
thanks
david

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