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The Movement

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Shot at f/11. Lighting was from a small off-camera flash, triggered by the onboard flash set to 1/16 power. The flash was pointing at a gold reflector to warm the colour of the paper up. Parchment effect was added in PS. A small white reflector was also placed behind the candle to reduce the depth of the shadow a little.

I would like others' opinions on whether it's strong enough technically and compositionally to stand up as a still life image in its own right - and whether or not it's appealing. Visually, I wanted to try and make it look aged - almost like a period piece (assuming they had fountain pens back then!!!)

Camera:Nikon D70 Check out Nikon Nation!
Lens:Nikkor 50mm f1.8 Check out Nikon Nation!
Recording media:ISO 200
Title:The Movement
Username:chrisw chrisw
Uploaded:27 Oct 2006 - 2:03 AM
Tags:Allegro, Classical, Flash / lighting, Manuscript, Movement, Mozart, Music, Score
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Comments

This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.
Fiona_W
Fiona_W  8
27 Oct 2006 - 6:46 AM

Love it! Very interesting Smile

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Tooth
Tooth  95772 forum posts Ireland227 Constructive Critique Points
28 Oct 2006 - 1:35 AM

Hi Chris,
i really like the feeling of this, and technically the exposure is IMO spot on, difficult wit ha flame involved but vryvwell controlled. if anything it's a little contrived and unnatural, but thew como. is nicely balanced. one smal crit. is that for all the effort you've put into this,, the bottom and right corners are cropped off, and would make the difference of a perfect comp.

hoe that's useful

Stephen

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Carabosse
Carabosse e2 Member 1139441 forum postsCarabosse vcard England269 Constructive Critique Points
28 Oct 2006 - 1:42 AM

Particularly with something like a still life it is important to say what you were trying to achieve and why you feel the result falls short.

We can guess at what you intended but our mind-reading skills are have their limits! Lol!

As regards my impression of the picture, I agree with what Stephen has said. It seems, on the face of it, a pity there has been unnecessary cropping. At least - WE think it is unnecessary. But only you can say. Maybe you intended it....

Hope you can see the point I am making?

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chrisw
chrisw  10129 forum posts
28 Oct 2006 - 1:18 PM

Thank you for the comments!

There is no real reason for the cropping, if I'm honest, although I do think it lends an 'unfinished' feel to it, which kind of matches the cap off the pen, the candle still lit and the second page of manuscript being blank. But in all honestly, it wasn't 100% intentional.

Thanks for the crit though - appreciated!

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joolsb
joolsb  927115 forum posts Switzerland38 Constructive Critique Points
28 Oct 2006 - 9:24 PM

Thans for changing the description and giving us more to go on - it's appreciated!

Couple of points for the sake of authenticity (in order of importance):

1. The main light source should be the candle. Here it appears as if the candle is giving off no light at all.

2. I'm pretty sure the fountain pen was a c.19th invention, and therefore after Mozart's time.

3. Most composers (and certainly all those before the modern era) wrote in a style that would appear almost illegible to modern eyes. This is far too neat to appear authentic!

Otherwise, great stuff!! I think you have met your stated aims very well (aside from the nitpicks above).

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strawman
strawman  1022006 forum posts United Kingdom16 Constructive Critique Points
28 Oct 2006 - 10:16 PM

My feelings. As the candle is providing the light it should be warmer and there should be more light fall off as you move from it.

As the others say the cropping is too tight and for the unfinished look leaving more of the page blank would have helped. also to be work in progress would it be so neat?

Finally as a posted image there is a lot of noise (jpeg compressions) on the green cloth. Probably not in the original.

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chrisw
chrisw  10129 forum posts
29 Oct 2006 - 1:00 AM

Thanks again guys - Time to reshoot, I think!

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