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26/04/2012 - 7:45 PM

Eden #5

Eden #5Hi Johnnyboy
Firstly I like this and I appreciate your bravery and honesty in requesting critique/suggesting that you are aware that this is not perfect. In the interests of improving I very much appreciate honest crit and so I hope you find this useful:
Things I like:
1. Great eye contact/engagement
2. Lovely model
3. Off centre composition and the blank space on the left - great for text if used editorially.
4. Hair colour really pops.

Things I do not like:
1. The fingers of her right hand. They are overly magenta (viewing this on a calibrated Eizo) and I do not like how the pose crops them so it appears that she has only three fingers and a bit of thumb. Yes I know that she has more but I feel that visually it is unsettling.
2. I am unsure as to why she feels a little "cramped" I do not mind the intentional crop through her head but feel that the crop through her forearm does not help. Also I would like to see more neck but her head is hunched down.
3. So what is the story telling here? On the one hand she is connecting with the camera and therefore the viewer directly - on the other hand she is hiding/covering herself up. That leads to a contradiction - if that was your intention then it has worked.
4. Lastly the edge of her left forearm with the tattoo is a little burnt out- v technical point and slightly odd as the catchlights suggest the key light was coming from her right but may represent the proximity of her to the background.

Overall do I like it? Yes - otherwise I would not have taken the time to comment. Looking at your port I feel you have stronger images there.

What might I have done differently?

Have her lean back against the b/g and extend her neck - have her look away or down to fix the "hiding" idea - present one shoulder towards the camera more to prevent her looking too broad and square on to the camera.

Any use? Feel free to ignore any or all.

Kind regards

DrF