i much prefer the black and white version of this image, although i would like to see less intense light on the face of the little girl. I like the echo of the young man's thumb with his collar bone. The shadow of the window behind them almost secures an entrapment - not sure if you wanted the picture to say that? Is it possible to remove the patch of white behind the girls head? In both images it acts as a distraction. You may want to look at the work of Jenny Matthews 'women & war' pluto press 2003.
hope this helps.