i think i see what you are trying to achieve with the symmety and the flood of light in through the roof aperature. the choice of mono was probably the best choice as the detail would have gone from the bright areas anyway.
there are however a few problems which have stopped this from being totally sucessful in my opinion as follows.
the composition needs to be totally symmetrical to be sucessful or if not, spun more diagonal away from the idea of being symmetrical and the lack of any dusty atmosphere inside the structure or smoke has prevented the light from forming attractive shafts of light that can be subjects in themselves.
it wouldnt be the first time i have thrown handfuls of dust up to acheve that effect, the mono conversion is a little lacking in any kind of serious contrast and the whole thing looks a little washed out, i have to ask the question what are we really looking at and is it interesting enough to hold attention and im not sure you pulled it off,
true my eye is drawn directly to the central white area, but with converging viewpoints you always need something in the point of focus to hold attention. if say a bird was somehow pasted into that central area flying overhead think how different the image would look and how stronger it would be.
i am sorry, i would like to have given you more to take out of this but as presented i think you could have made a stronger image with the elements that presented themselves. the idea is worth persuing, consider the use of HDR it may help retain more detail throughout.
hope this helps,