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town gardens, swindon

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first day out with my M-28mm f2.8 prime lens. Its a crop of a larger image but still around the central theme of the image which are the pink trees (horticultural term). I trimmed to use two trees as left and right borders but also wanted to include the ground shadows that point toward the central subject.

Comments appreciated, particularly as I'm a complete beginner, criticism is very much appreciated.

Not sure whether the image views well as such a small image

Camera:Pentax K20D Check out PENTAXPORTAL!
Lens:SMC Pentax-M 28mm F2.8
Recording media:JPEG (digital)
Title:town gardens, swindon
Username:petemasty petemasty
Uploaded:21 Apr 2009 - 6:45 PM
Tags:Flowers & plants, Landscape / travel, Wildlife / nature
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Comments

This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.
JackAllTog
JackAllTog e2 Member 53513 forum postsJackAllTog vcard United Kingdom58 Constructive Critique Points
22 Apr 2009 - 2:19 PM

Great colour in the shot, and a terific blue sky that slightly graduated (polariser?). Framing for me could be a bit tighter - by moving closer rather than cropping picture as the guy on the left distracts and the shadows on the grass are too dominat for me.

The flowers in the middle might make a nice fore ground if you were loads closer, though this would change the cooling feel of the shot.

Another pentax guy called Pete i know shoots this kind of shot - small world.

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pamelajean
pamelajean Critique Team 8748 forum postspamelajean vcard United Kingdom1575 Constructive Critique Points
22 Apr 2009 - 5:20 PM

Hello, Peter, and welcome to EPZ. This looks like an old master oil painting, people picnicking in the park. All it needs is some Victorian costumes, lol. The pink trees were crying out to be photographed. The image is quite soft, and I am wondering just how much you trimmed off the original. It may also be due to your not sharpening after you re-sized for the site. I feel you tried to get too much into one image, which has left us with a picture that has so many different elements, the eye doesn't settle anywhere in particular. You say you like the ground shadows, pink trees and the two either side, but you have effectively made everything very central, the sky is in the middle, the pink trees are in the middle, and the two large trees are either side. In some ways, it is quite effective, but as a general rule, offsetting elements works better. Having said that, your composition is beginning to grow on me. I feel the image is a bit dark for a sunny day and the most prominent/nearest person, on the left, distracts the eye from the central scene. Your sky is wonderful and your colours and exposure are good. In my modification, I cropped both sides, more from the left, removing one large tree, offsetting the sky and pink trees. I cropped close to the right tree so that it framed the picture. You still have your ground shadows. I lightened the picture, lifted the shadows so that the large tree on the right was brought out of the shade, then adjusted levels.
Pamela.

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petemasty
petemasty  5155 forum posts England
22 Apr 2009 - 8:52 PM

thanks for the feedback chaps. Both very helpful. I've seen the mod and can understand the reasoning behind it. funny you should mention Victorian because the gardens are 'listed' as one of the best examples of Victorian town parks in the country (yes, even in Swindon!) The sky came out as is. There was no polarisor on the lens.

It was a sizeable crop from the image which I sherpened before cropping. When I took the shot and got it on the puter I knew which portion I wanted hence the crop. I think at the moment, I'm concentrating on composition, so your great comments are both motivating and very helpful indeed. Next time I'll leave the kiddies at home so I can concentrate on what I'm doing photographically.

Many many thanks

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