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Violin and Rattle

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Still life

Camera:Canon EOS 300D
Lens:Sigma 28mm - 300mm
Recording media:JPEG (digital)
Title:Violin and Rattle
Username:Pietman Pietman
Uploaded:2 Oct 2008 - 12:06 PM
Tags:General
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Comments

This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.
DOGSBODY
DOGSBODY e2 Member 51432 forum postsDOGSBODY vcard England30 Constructive Critique Points
2 Oct 2008 - 12:34 PM

A great still life. Good diagonal composition with plenty of colour and detail. Andy

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graceland
graceland  92363 forum posts United Kingdom2 Constructive Critique Points
2 Oct 2008 - 1:40 PM

Yep Very nice ,I would put a slim frame on it but great !

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conrad
conrad e2 Member 910870 forum postsconrad vcard 116 Constructive Critique Points
2 Oct 2008 - 2:25 PMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

I really like the idea, and it's a well lit and very "clean" image.

But I wonder if your composition couldn't be improved a little. The rattle, for instance, doesn't help the composition for me. It just seems a little too much, and I don't think you need it, so I'd be inclined to remove it. (Unless, of course, you insist on keeping the title as it is, then it might be a bit of a problem, removing it...)

Secondly, I'd like to see some kind of cohesion between the different elements. You could achieve this by overlapping them, for instance - laying the paper partially under the bow, to name an example, letting the bow (almost) touch the violin, etc. Just to give you some ideas.

But this is a very nice effort as it is!

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Pietman
Pietman  5 South Africa
2 Oct 2008 - 3:27 PM

Thanks for the positive critique. Looking at the composition from your viewpiont it would make a difference. I will keep that in mind.

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55jase
55jase e2 Member 8186 forum posts55jase vcard United Kingdom2 Constructive Critique Points
2 Oct 2008 - 4:18 PM

I agree with conrad, To make the picture stronger i feel you need some negative space, You have too much spread out making a busy picture.When i want to look at the focal point the violin.
Jase

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pamelajean
pamelajean Critique Team 8688 forum postspamelajean vcard United Kingdom1532 Constructive Critique Points
2 Oct 2008 - 7:31 PM

Hi, Pieter. The above comments echo my own thoughts about this one, so I did a mod to give you an idea for future composition. Overlapping items instead of placing them side by side makes a more interesting image altogether. I could have played with this for hours, turning things around and placing them differently, but resisted the urge. Hope you like my little creation.
Pamela.

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Pietman
Pietman  5 South Africa
3 Oct 2008 - 8:37 AM

Hi, Pamela. Thanks for your comments. I see that you are a very greative person and your portfolio speaks of it.
Pieter

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pamelajean
pamelajean Critique Team 8688 forum postspamelajean vcard United Kingdom1532 Constructive Critique Points
3 Oct 2008 - 8:02 PM

It was fun, Pieter, glad you liked it, and thanks for the compliments.

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