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The bird and the rose

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This photo is composed from several layers and i know that the propotions of the bird and the rose are not true but i wanted to emphsis the fact that the bird is singing about the beauty of the rose. Couple of technical quistions:1] i sharpened only the rose and not the all photo what do you think? 2] Is there a way of integrating the music notes into the photo that will make it more "natural"? {what i did was to add a shadow to the notes to make them \more 3D}
Regards Ely

Brand:Canon
Camera:Canon EOS 550D
Lens:100.0 mm (35 mm equivalent: 157.3 mm)
Recording media:JPEG (digital)
Date Taken:4 Jan 2013 - 9:18 AM
Focal Length:100mm
Aperture:f/5.6
Shutter Speed:1/500sec
Exposure Comp:0.0
ISO:100
Exposure Mode:Program AE
Metering Mode:Center-weighted average
Flash:No Flash
White Balance:Daylight
Title:The bird and the rose
Username:queengu21 queengu21
Uploaded:22 Mar 2013 - 9:36 AM
Tags:Digital art, Flowers & plants, Wildlife / nature
VS Mode Rating 94 (13.33% won)
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Comments

This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.
NDODS
NDODS e2 Member 43667 forum postsNDODS vcard United Kingdom107 Constructive Critique Points
22 Mar 2013 - 10:07 AM

I rather like the whole idea, one which has been very well crafted and presented.

In answer to your question: If you changed the colour of the musical citations to black or grey, then alter the opacity to around 40% before adding a slight bevel you may achieve something which is a little less obstrusive.

Hope this helps Ely

Regards Nathan

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johnke
johnke  155 forum posts South Africa9 Constructive Critique Points
22 Mar 2013 - 10:07 AM

Love your work and how much though you apply...John

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JuBarney
JuBarney e2 Member 3JuBarney vcard United Kingdom3 Constructive Critique Points
22 Mar 2013 - 12:09 PM

A lovely presentation; had thought from the thumbnail you had a thrush which might make it even better
Ju

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WhiteRose1
WhiteRose1 e2 Member 41110 forum postsWhiteRose1 vcard England136 Constructive Critique Points
22 Mar 2013 - 12:26 PM

Like the idea and the shapes fit together well, Ely. Nathan's idea sounds pretty good as well.

Dave

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mrswoolybill
mrswoolybill Critique Team 8526 forum postsmrswoolybill vcard United Kingdom1090 Constructive Critique Points
22 Mar 2013 - 12:36 PMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

The rose, the desaturated background, the bird with its pattern overlaid, its shadow, the yellow notation - there's just too much going on.
A couple of suggestions for a fresh start - keep the bird natural; flip the basic composition horizontally so that the bird is on the left, and then add the musical notation to read rightwards starting at its beak. (You cannot just flip the image as it stands or the notation will be backwards). It's meaningless to put a treble clef at the end by the way, just leave the one at the beginning.
Moira

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paulbroad
paulbroad  789 forum posts United Kingdom880 Constructive Critique Points
22 Mar 2013 - 2:18 PM

Why would you want it to look natural. This is a fine strong graphic/photographic image ideally suited to use by a craft worker. My wife makes a lot of cards and thought this was rather nice. You have done what is needed very well indeed. The photograph is crisp and sharp and the exposure correct. The added graphics are also very concise with no joins visible. Might just brighten the bird up a bit.

This should be viewed as a creation rather than a photograph.

I like it. Well done.

Paul

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alistairfarrugia
alistairfarrugia Critique Team 2164 forum posts Malta88 Constructive Critique Points
22 Mar 2013 - 4:00 PMConstructive Critique!This comment was flagged as constructive critique! 

Hi there, first off, well done on the thought you've put into this. Thing is though, there are some problems in execution that might belittle the effort you did here. First of all, if you want to give the image a "realistic" imagery (the bird is singing about the rose's beauty), then in my opinion the bird and the rose should be presented as naturally as possible, and that includes the proportions, pose of the bird, and the presentation of the bird itself. For starters, the effect to me only serves to make the bird stand out rather than put it in context. Moreover, it adds an extra "layer" in the message that is unrelated to your original thought. I ask, why is the bird presented in this way? And whatever the answer, it's unrelated to the idea of a bird singing about beauty. So I would probably not add that effect on the bird.

Secondly, the bird's pose would be more applicable for a perch, rather than a leaf. You positioned the bird on a leaf in the background and it looks very unrealistic. Again, this detracts from the message you wanted to send, same argument about realistic vs made up that I did above. In a nutshell, if my mind immediately tells me the bird is fake, I cannot relate to the message you want to convey.

And finally, I think the shadow on the bird was thought wrong, judging by the shadow on the rose. Try to include a shadow that goes in the same direction as the petal's shadow, not in another direction.

You should also take heed of Nathan's comment about the notes, and I think the picture would improve. Just my 2 cents anyway! Smile

Still, well done once again on the thought behind this. I can see such pictures being used in the context mentioned by Paul for instance.

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queengu21
queengu21  4 Israel
22 Mar 2013 - 4:41 PM

I would like to thank every one of you about her/his honest opinion and criticism on this work of mine. It is a new experience for me and i will try to benefit from it.
Ely

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alistairfarrugia
alistairfarrugia Critique Team 2164 forum posts Malta88 Constructive Critique Points
22 Mar 2013 - 6:18 PM

Ely, that is exactly the purpose of the critique gallery. I'm glad you found these comments helpful. Keep them coming and well done!

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