An old sea captain with a wooden leg, a hook for a hand and a black patrch over one eye is telling a kid how he got his injuries: "It was a big sea battle, lad. A cannonball flew across the deck and took off me leg. Later a doctor friend fixed me up with this wooden one." "How did you lose your hand?" asks the kid. "The same battle, lad. The pirates, they boarded me ship and their captain, he whacked off me hand with his cutlass. Later, the doctor friend gave me this hook." The kid says. "I guess you lost your eye in the same battle." "No". says the captain. "I was looking up one day, and a seagull (crapped) right in me eye." "Gee" says the kid "You mean the seagull (crap) blinded you?." "No" the captain replies,"First day with me new hook."