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It's all very "soot and whitewash..." I think there is too much contrast to start with, and your treatment has only made it more extreme. Even in the lightest version, the blacks are textureless and block up. I'd be interested to know which lens you used, because some of the later Leica glass can be very contrasty indeed, which is hard to handle in bright sunlight. If the processing gives you high contrast too, you might consider overexposing/underdeveloping (pull processing) to try to check the contrast. You can always boost it in digital processing.
Just a few comments on some of the above.
I'm guessing this was taken on a mobile phone. Moira's comments and mod are all valid, but there is a lot more you could do with this if only you had the resolution. As is, there is little you can do.
Whilst I can see what you're trying to do, and I often like dark conversions, I think it's fallen between several stools.
As above, re the bottom edge. I'd like to see the main pillars vertical, the rest can lean if you can't straighten them. Black and white is the natural choice here, the graphic nature of the shot lends itself to it, and looks pretty good with the points above addressed.
When I first saw this, I thought "HDR".....
Judging by the state of the fire extinguisher, it doesn't look like it's been checked for a while. I would say the plastic bottle is not the largest of your worries.
I'm not sure about the girl in the background. I did a mod to isolate the front girl, lightening slightly to make her eyes more arresting. For me, the other girl is unnecessary, and I would prefer her to be either sharp, or more blurred - here she is a bit in between, but I think the front girl is the picture.
As Willie says really. A little underexposed, and the crop could be improved. The main problem is the wire fence in the background. Moving slightly to get rid of it, or photoshopping it out (even though you have tried to blur it, it hasn't really worked) and you will have a much more natural image.
That and the fact that the shadows are incomplete, making it look wrong.
This would make a perfect brochure picture, as long as he is conforming to H&S regulations etc.
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