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'O' Rings03/04/2012 - 10:12 PM
When a learned 'expert/authority-in-his-field-of-learning/I've-been-doing-this-for-20-years-type-character' tells you that 'O' rings have varying characteristics with regard to quality, and the only ones that will be of any use to you are the ones that he alone is able to supply (obviously at extortionate cost) ~ chuckle at him.
You'll find that he will loath it.
He will hate you for it,
And he will hate you with a venom that should really only be peculiar to particularly large snakes.
However, from your point of view, the chuckle will prove to be immensely satisfying.
I met such a character this morning. And as I have failed to control the excesses of my cerebral wanderings during the course of the day, I have kept on chuckling at intermittent intervals.
Before I met the said expert, I had done some research on the subject of 'O' rings and had been reliably informed by the industrial/scientific/commercial consumer body of opinion, that an 'O' ring is an 'O' ring is an 'O' ring.
That, after all, was the original purpose of the internet - to disseminate information between individuals.
So, in between my chuckles, when I sought to impress upon my learned friend that the tripe he was attempting to convey to me was of a particularly virulent form, his loathing and hatred became increasingly venomous.
It is some years since I last saw a face change so many iridescent colours in such a chameleon-like manner, in such a short space of time.
It is also some months since a similarly self-important individual informed me that he had been attempting to intimidate others in such a pompous manner for 20 years.
At this point the purpose of my 'expert's' pomposity/intimidation/superiority finally broke cover, dashed out into the open and displayed itself.
His 'O' rings were not only going to cost at least five times more than anyone elses 'O' rings were going to cost, they were going to be subject to the dreaded VAT which would further increase the cost by 20%.
And, the 'O' rings that I needed and only he could supply, were unavailable in the UK and would have to be shipped in from Denmark at a cost of approximately £40 (+VAT at 20%)
And, with Easter fast approaching, it was very unlikely that they would be available for collection before the beginning of May, at the earliest.
Oh, and there would be a 10% handling charge (which mercifully would not be subject to VAT)
And he just could not understand why I chuckled so exuberantly, whilst at the same time thinking that I must find a toilet soon, as I returned to my vehicle, knowing that 5 minutes drive away was a small company who could provide me with my required 'O' rings for the princely sum of £1.70p, including VAT at 20%, and with no P&P or handling charges. And the 'O' rings would be in stock.
So my underpinner is working beautifully now.
Silently - efficiently - and with no hydraulic fluid leaks
And I still keep chuckling occasionally.
And what a relief it was to find that toilet