Hello Iain, appreciate what you were trying to acheive here, and in itself is a very pleasant image, and you have found a very good model in Debbie.
However in my opinion you have to be little careful with this type of glamour shot with the model looking away from the camera, especially when the lighting is flat (typically glamour), because it creates a feeling of 'detachment' like what is she looking at. It does occasionally work, but the elements are largely objective.
All I can say is before I moved house last time I went through all my prints and had a massive clearout and I think all bar a few I threw out nearly all the picture where the model was looking away, because with a more experienced eye
In saying that, with this type of picture it can work if she is looking at the elastic of her knickers or maybe her breast as there is a focal point.
Like the picture, and well worthy of a vote.