Lovely idea, unfortunately, background could be out of focus (DOF issue). I find the area around the model distracting.
Model nicely in focus but the angle makes her body look a little awkward. Prehaps changing your angle of attack when you shoot her would help. I normally move from top left to bottom right when I shoot this type of subject, angles are important and IMO you were a tad to high, you needed to be a little lower when you shoot this image.I shoot anything up 20 images of my strobesflash.
Nothing technical wrong with the image, but not convincing, sorry but I have to honest.
Prehaps a reshoot? Some nice bokeh (produce a more creamy, beautiful looking Bokeh, a short lens with a big aperture (e.g. 85mm 1.8 ), or a long tele (e.g. a 200 or 300mm at f4) in the background pushes the model forward.
Also the detail on white top is lost which is unfortunate.
I love the fact that the image is interesting, nothing boring about what you did here. By pushing the envelope you have produced a potentially interesting shot.