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50 Reasons not to Date a Photographer

Coleslaw 12 13.4k 28 Wales
18 Nov 2011 7:50PM

Quote: 50 Reasons not to Date a Photographer

by Juliet N Newton on Friday, 18 November 2011 at 17:53

‪1.‬They rather hold their bulky camera, than hold hands with you.
‪2.‬On a romantic date, you’ll watch the sun go down and think “Wow this is gorgeous” and they’ll go “mirror lock, tripod, and stop down f/8 at 1/125.”
‪3.‬You’ll never be able to enjoy tv, movies, or magazines because they’ll point out all the visual flaws.
‪4.‬They like to sit in obscure coffee shop and voyeuristically watch people for great lengths of time.
‪5.‬If you’re taking a walk outside and you come across some “interesting light” they will make you sit/stand/pose in public so that they can take a photo.
‪6.‬You’ll never get to enjoy freshly cooked meals because they’ll spend 15 minutes taking 20 variations of the same dish with their iPhone.
‪7.‬They get angry when your friends go up to them and say “I am interested in photography, can you recommend a good camera for me? Nothing professional I just want to take pretty pictures.”
‪8.‬You’ll wait longer for them to finish analyzing art in a museum than you’ll wait at the dmv
‪9.‬Same goes with old used bookstores.
‪10.‬When you think they’re giving you their undivided attention, they’re really wondering how they could fix you with a little Clone Tool and Patch Tool.
‪11.‬Or they are actually using you to not look so creepy as they people watch everything going on around you.
‪12.‬They rather drop $1,000+ on new glass than a purse for you.
‪13.‬You can’t take a photo with them without taking at least five more.
‪14.‬If you ask them if you look fat, they’ll say “don’t worry I can photoshop you later.”
‪15.‬They’ll never photoshop something simple for you if the content is not up to their “standards.”
‪16.‬That photo they randomly took of you yesterday? Good luck getting them to send it to you.
‪17.‬They spend all their time on the computer (and not for porn.)
‪18.‬They can’t have a normal conversation with throwing acronyms and random numbers.
‪19.‬They still use film cameras.
‪20.‬They spend a lot of time with people cooler than you i.e. models, actors, musicians, successful rich people.
‪21.‬They’ll be fussy over the position of a common household object, like a coffee cup.
‪22.‬They won’t return your calls or text messages, but you can bet they’re still posting pics on Instagram.
‪23.‬They like watching old films that you’ve never heard or will ever understand.
‪24.‬They like looking at weird things in general.
‪25.‬Instead of having penis-envy, they have camera-gear-envy.
‪26.‬If there’s a natural disaster in a far away land, they’re already on a plane going over there.
‪27.‬Everything is watermarked.
‪28.‬They think everyone else’s photos suck.
‪29.‬They want to color correct a lot of scenes from Twilight and Jersey Shore.
‪30.‬They hate rainbows, especially ones spinning in a circle.
‪31.‬Whenever you’re in a group talking and the conversation goes deep, they’re taking notes in some form of Moleskin.
‪32.‬They use over priced Moleskin notebooks.
‪33.‬They like trespassing into old abandoned buildings filled with health hazards.
‪34.‬They always want to show a new photo they took, but don’t really care if you like it or not.
‪35.‬They hate your n00bie friend’s new artsy profile picture.
‪36.‬Bright, sunny days make them sad, but cloudy, overcast days are apparently great!
‪37.‬They’ll take you into places that have “culture” as well a high chance of getting mugged.
‪38.‬Your birthday present will be a portrait that they’ve taken of you.
‪39.‬You can’t go anywhere new without them stopping to take a photo of everything and anything.
‪40.‬They will always bug you to be a test subject.
‪41.‬Nothing can ever be naturally pretty, everything must be fixed in Photoshop.
‪42.‬Bringing their camera means, bringing 50lbs of equipment.
‪43.‬If you break any of their things on accident, you’ll owe them thousands of dollars.
‪44.‬You can’t get them a birthday/Christmas present without spending at least $500
‪45.‬They are natural hoarders, collecting and keeping piles of old newspapers, packaging, magazines, and other things that “inspire” them.
‪46.‬They are weird and geeky.
‪47.‬They have hard drives of photos, but probably have printed 10 images.
‪48.‬They are always secretly judging your creativity.
‪49.‬If you’re ever in auto mode, they laugh at you.
‪50.‬They orgasm every time they learn a new lighting technique.

By Melly

Are you guilty as charged? Smile

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User_Removed 13 17.9k 8 Norway
18 Nov 2011 8:10PM
You've nicked this off Sarah!!!

(Or the other way round!! Wink)
Coleslaw 12 13.4k 28 Wales
18 Nov 2011 8:13PM
the word is Share in FB, Mike....Smile Tongue
whipspeed Plus
13 4.2k 22 United Kingdom
18 Nov 2011 8:32PM
He nicked it Mike, but I did first from another member on here as well Smile

What I wonder is though, just how many of those are we guilty of! Smile
User_Removed 13 17.9k 8 Norway
18 Nov 2011 8:34PM


Coleslaw 12 13.4k 28 Wales
18 Nov 2011 8:35PM
it is a vicious circle......Smile
whipspeed Plus
13 4.2k 22 United Kingdom
18 Nov 2011 8:40PM
Exactly, it was Andrew (ahrb) who started it. Well nicked it from someone else Grin
zapar40 7 66 5 Wales
19 Nov 2011 9:56AM
lol, i'm going to have to nick this.... just to show the girlfriend, she'll accuse me of most. (at least half)
KathyW 14 1.8k 12 Norfolk Island
19 Nov 2011 11:52AM
Just as well my other half is a photographer too...Tongue

Not that either of us would dream of doing any of those things...
19 Nov 2011 7:48PM
Wish my other half was into photography rather than fags, cider and his 50" tv Tongue
Paul Morgan 16 18.8k 6 England
19 Nov 2011 8:37PM

Quote:Wish my other half was into photography rather than fags, cider and his 50" tv

Could be worse, just as well he`s not into photography as well Smile
19 Nov 2011 9:56PM

Quote:Wish my other half was into photography rather than fags, cider and his 50" tv

Could be worse, just as well he`s not into photography as well Smile

Hate smoking and i don't drink so would've prefered him to be into photography Tongue

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