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Banned from shops

Draig37 11 252 Wales
15 Jan 2010 8:33PM
Yesterday I was at my local Asda buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my dogs and was waiting in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time I tried the diet, but that at least I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

The food is nutritionally complete (and it says so on the packet) so it works well and that now I was better, I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I had ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Asda!

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Doglet 11 59 United Kingdom
15 Jan 2010 8:44PM
Anthony 16 5.6k 17 Scotland
15 Jan 2010 8:44PM
he he, heard it before, but its still good.

kaybee 14 5.8k 25 Scotland
15 Jan 2010 8:57PM
cameracat 14 8.6k 61 Norfolk Island
15 Jan 2010 9:07PM
LOL...Smile You can't beat the old ones, Still a good yarn....Wink
AshTree 8 1.7k 6 England
15 Jan 2010 9:17PM
Lol, I haven't heard this one before, so thanks for posting, very funny Smile
MikeRC Plus
13 3.6k United Kingdom
15 Jan 2010 9:36PM
Very funny...I haven't heard it before either.
edrhodes 13 547 12 United Kingdom
15 Jan 2010 9:46PM
That's so funny......LOL

jken 11 1.7k 1 United Kingdom
15 Jan 2010 9:51PM
lol lol lol brilliant
scott_jessuk 12 249 1 Scotland
23 Jan 2010 7:10PM
Really funny story, some people need to lighten up really. I'm good at getting others thrown out of shops pubs when I'm drunk, unfortunately tell people what I actually think. oops not good, hey at least I'm being honest. Honest good not bad.

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