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Favourite jokes


bigsean 13 164 Wales
27 Aug 2008 4:53PM
Sir Paul was asked if he would ever go down on one knee again? he replied i prefer if you call her heather
mark2uk 15 1.1k 8 England
27 Aug 2008 4:53PM
One snowman said to another "Can you smell carrots?"
Geoffphoto 15 13.5k United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 4:54PM
Love the Heather gags !! - see I'm not so grumpy after all ! Grin

Two goldfish in a tank and one says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing ? "
boony 14 978 3 United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 4:54PM

Quote:Two parrots on a Perch.

One says....

"Can you smell fish?"


LOL!!!!!!
mark2uk 15 1.1k 8 England
27 Aug 2008 4:54PM
Two cannibals eating a clown, one says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
mark2uk 15 1.1k 8 England
27 Aug 2008 4:55PM
Three old ladies sitting on a park bench and a streaker ran past.

Two had a stroke.


The third couldn't reach.
Geoffphoto 15 13.5k United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 4:56PM

Quote:Two cannibals eating a clown, one says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"



and the other says "dunno, but I've just passed your sister ! "
bangalicious 13 1.3k 5 England
27 Aug 2008 4:59PM
An Irishman, fed up with anti-Irish jokes, starts taking
English elocution lessons. After a few successful weeks
he goes to the shops to try it out:

“I'll have an Observer, a Telegraph and a
Times, please Sir" he says to the shop-keeper.

"Are you Irish?" asks the shop-keeper

“How did you know?" replies the shocked Irishman.

"Well, this is a fish and chip shop, mate.”
boony 14 978 3 United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 5:02PM
two nuns on tandem bike going down a cobbled road , one says to the other "ive never come this way before"
Geoffphoto 15 13.5k United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 5:07PM
A bloke walks into a bar and asks the barmaid for a double innuendo, so she gives him one !
boony 14 978 3 United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 5:15PM
what do you call a fly with no wings???


a walk
col.campbell 17 1.4k 4 United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 6:45PM
Paddy and Mick, on a skiing holiday, arrived at the top of the mountain and Mick says, 'Right, ready? Come on and we'll zig-zag our way to the bottom.'

Paddy replies, 'No it's zag-zig isn't it?'

They start arguing and decide to settle it by asking a man nearby.

'Don't ask me, I wouldn't know' says the man, 'I'm a tobogganist.'

'Oh well in that case can I have 20 B&H and a lighter please.'


(With apologies to people named Paddy, Mick, the Irish, dyslexics, smokers, winter sportspersons etc...)
col.campbell 17 1.4k 4 United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 6:47PM
What do you call a 3-legged donkey?

Wonky


coat, fetch, I'm off..
Big Bri 20 16.7k United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 6:49PM
What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?

A carrot.
franken Plus
18 5.2k 4 United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 7:24PM
A white horse trots into a pup and up to the bar, the barman smiles and says "Did you know there's a whisky named after you?"
"Are you sure?" says the horse

"Yes!" replies the barman.

"Have you any of this whisky here then?" asks the horse.

"We do!" replies the barman

"That's great, I'll have a double Henry please!!!!

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