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Favourite jokes


franken Plus
18 5.2k 4 United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 7:46PM
Ps, should read "into a pub!
Big Bri 20 16.7k United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 8:23PM
Two peanuts walked down a street.

One was assaulted
MrGoatsmilk 12 1.5k England
27 Aug 2008 8:27PM
How do you confuse an idiot?

Seven
MrGoatsmilk 12 1.5k England
27 Aug 2008 8:27PM
How do you keep an idiot in suspense.....?
Big Bri 20 16.7k United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 8:28PM

Quote:How do you confuse an idiot?


Tell him/her to click the link in the fifth post on this page
dwilkin 14 24.3k United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 8:35PM
How do you keep an idiot occupied for hours?

Put 'PTO' on both sides of a sheet of paper...
MrGoatsmilk 12 1.5k England
27 Aug 2008 8:43PM
An elderly English gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The English gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. All Englishmen have to show their passports on arrival in France !"

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained.

"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D- Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any f*****g Frenchmen to show it to"
jimthistle73 17 2.4k 1 United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 8:52PM
I had a dog named Minton who had a bad habit of eating shuttlecocks.




BAD MINTON!
macroman 18 15.3k England
27 Aug 2008 10:04PM

Quote:Tell him/her to click the link in the fifth post on this page


That's dead sneaky, Bri Wink
1, 2, 3, .....101, 102,103.......1010, 1011.......12,000, 12,001..........
Big Bri 20 16.7k United Kingdom
27 Aug 2008 10:24PM
There was this English pilot who landed his plane at Frankfurt airport and was told to taxi to gate 43. He didn't know where gate 43 was, so he politely asked the tower for directions.

The controller in the tower shouted into his microphone "Stupid Englishman!!! Have you never been to Frankfurt before??"

And the English pilot replied "I came a few times in '44, but it was dark and I didn't land"

Wink
MalcolmS Plus
15 1.2k 13 England
27 Aug 2008 11:22PM
Got home pissed the other night and realised I'd left my key indoors. Looked through the letter box and saw the cat sitting on the stairs so I said ' Don't just sit there open the door'
The cat said ' Me ow'
MalcolmS Plus
15 1.2k 13 England
27 Aug 2008 11:27PM
Paddy rushes into the bank points a gun at the cashier and says to the cashier 'Hand over all the money'. The cashier bursts out laughing and says 'You're Irish aren't you'. Paddy says 'Yes, how did you know?'
The cashier says ' You've sawn the wrong end off you shotgun'.

Apologies to anyone from Ireland for that in these enlightened times.
Just Jas 19 26.3k 1 England
27 Aug 2008 11:31PM

Quote:What did Cinderella say when she left the photo shop?

- one day my prints will come.

Just Jas 19 26.3k 1 England
27 Aug 2008 11:33PM

Quote:What did Cinderella say when she left the photo shop?

- one day my prints will come.



That was Snow White actually!
Tooth 16 5.8k 227 Ireland
27 Aug 2008 11:42PM
a man walked into a bar,...ended up in hospital..

it was an iron bar Smile

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