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Let's all write a book! Just add the next sentence...

ckristoff 16 994 Wales
10 Aug 2007 9:59PM
masquerading for all the world to see ( no telescopes necessary thank you very much ) parading up and down the English coastline like a bloody great white shark, except that this one had a glorious shade of Page 3 suntan! Smile
macroman 18 15.3k England
11 Aug 2007 3:46PM
And looked like an upturned inflatable orange inshore rescue boat......
ckristoff 16 994 Wales
11 Aug 2007 8:33PM
which was hurriedly heading out into the North Sea, as it was its day off and couldn't care less! Smile
joolsb 16 27.1k 38 Switzerland
11 Aug 2007 11:17PM
Heading towards an abandoned gas drilling rig where....
macroman 18 15.3k England
12 Aug 2007 2:06PM
mad scientist Anul Grossenfarter was working on a dastardly plan to release millions of helium filled black balloons to block the Sun's radiation to combat global warning.
To make matters worse all the ballons would be printed with the dreaded EPz logo......
SuziBlue 18 16.2k 10 Scotland
12 Aug 2007 3:40PM
... and emblazoned with the word 'BANG'. To his twisted and evil mind, this seemed the perfect plan, but he had not taken into account the amount of time it would take to fill the balloons. All he'd seen in the way of helium filling was a bloke, a cylinder of helium and several dozen Mickey Mouse balloons at the recent Townswomen's Guild Fayre and Victoria Sponge Making Demonstration in the park, and his work was going to be cut out if he wanted to fill several million black balloons on a wet Sunday afternoon. However he was optimistic, which was nice.

He reached for his telephone and called 'Balloons'r'Us'.

"Can you quote me for twenty-five million black balloons with logo and emblazoned slogan?" he croaked, at a fever pitch of excitement.

"We've only got a few hundred in stock, mate," came the reply. "We can get a few more by Thursday but ..."

"Nein! I need zem now!" he yelled. "I must haff twenty-five million by Sunday or my plans to dominate the world will amount to nought! Oops!"

"You'd be better off ...
User_Removed 17 17.9k 8 Norway
12 Aug 2007 4:19PM
... ordering online from Vistaprint mate. They do large quantities - and based sewer le continong too mate!! Closer to 'ome an' all dat... Smile

Now - I can do you a nice line in...
joolsb 16 27.1k 38 Switzerland
12 Aug 2007 5:33PM
...bratwurst. Genuine Bavarian Bratwurst, made in a small factory on an indutrial estate in Penge..."
"Nein, nein!! It is ze balloons I am wanting! I want to dominate ze World by combatting global warming!"
"You're a loony, mate." Answered the nice man from Balloons & Bratwurst R Us, putting the phone down. Sharpish, like.
"Oh mein Gott! My plans are being ruined!! What am I to do????"

Just then, an upturned inflatable orange inshore rescue boat came into view...
macroman 18 15.3k England
12 Aug 2007 8:30PM
"Mein Gott!", "Vos iss das!", quoth Anul, turning a whiter shade of pale.
"I thought for a moment that it was my evil vife Minnie Grossenfarter.".
Just then there was the sound of several bagpipes and Anul turned to see a horde of kilted barbarians wielding calamores bearing down upon him........

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