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One line gags please...

25 Apr 2006 2:06AM
Give us your best one line gag.

To get the ball rolling.

I love houses - so no-one can accuse me of being homeophobic.

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conrad 12 10.9k 116
25 Apr 2006 2:12AM
Procrastination is one of my weaknesses, and I think I'll stop doing it - tomorrow.
stevemelvin 11 675 2 United Kingdom
25 Apr 2006 2:30AM
What's black and white and eats like a horse?...............A zebra.
joolsb 12 27.1k 38 Switzerland
25 Apr 2006 2:32AM
I used to be indecisive... now I'm not so sure.
strawman 13 22.1k 16 United Kingdom
25 Apr 2006 2:33AM
I am not paranoid...you lot are out to get me.
snapbandit 12 2.2k 3 Northern Ireland
25 Apr 2006 2:34AM
I try to lose weight....But it keeps on finding me!!


Joe B
strawman 13 22.1k 16 United Kingdom
25 Apr 2006 2:36AM
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead

S Laurel
FrankThomas 14 2.8k United Kingdom
25 Apr 2006 2:47AM
Take my mother-in-law . . . Please!!
mjsayles 11 1.0k
25 Apr 2006 2:49AM
What's brown and sticky?

A stick.
ardbeg77 13 1.2k 6 Sao Tome And Principe
25 Apr 2006 2:51AM
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
ardbeg77 13 1.2k 6 Sao Tome And Principe
25 Apr 2006 2:53AM
So I said "Do you want a game of Darts?", he said "OK then", I said "Nearest to bull starts". He said "Baa", I said "Moo", he said "You're closest".
Martin54 Plus
11 536 United Kingdom
25 Apr 2006 2:56AM
The meek shall inherit the earth ... if that's OK with the rest of you.
Chris_H 13 1.5k 1
25 Apr 2006 2:56AM
Whats got 90 balls and screws all the women? = Bingo
rnixon 13 180
25 Apr 2006 2:57AM
Shakespeare goes into a pub and the landlord says,
"You're Bard"
ardbeg77 13 1.2k 6 Sao Tome And Principe
25 Apr 2006 2:59AM
So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays"