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website help


31 Mar 2012 12:35PM
hi im asher, i have recently changed my website layout and pages. i need to change my home page info about me, cos i sound like im 10.

can anyone help me wirte something or give me pointers thank you

http://www.asherreynolds.com/

asher reynolds

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31 Mar 2012 2:39PM
some one help please
31 Mar 2012 3:24PM
Hi Asher,

it's a bit difficult for someone to help you with this, as only you know what you want to put in your info. However, the format you've chosen does sound a bit like one of those 'Personal Statement' pieces you get at the top of a CV, and it's quite difficult to get something like that to grab the attention.

I find it difficult to write about myself, as you have to make the rather egotistical assumption that people are interested (even though, if they're looking at your website, I suppose it's not THAT egotistical). The way I got around it with mine was to actually pose questions that a reader may be asking, and then answer them - http://www.kevinlowephotography.com/abous-us/

Hope this helps, at least a little bit.

Kevin
31 Mar 2012 3:28PM
thanks for you comment, im not really looking for that

thanks
31 Mar 2012 4:32PM
I don't see anything wrong with what you've written personally. The site sounds and feels grown-up to me. I would however like to know where you found a waterfall as I only know of one in Dorset, at Kimmeridge bay and that is intermittent! Is there another?
31 Mar 2012 6:52PM
i think what you have is pretty good as it is, I'd leave it, although you could put something like your latest news on the homepage which is what I have done
31 Mar 2012 9:47PM
thanks for ur advice
31 Mar 2012 9:47PM

Quote:I don't see anything wrong with what you've written personally. The site sounds and feels grown-up to me. I would however like to know where you found a waterfall as I only know of one in Dorset, at Kimmeridge bay and that is intermittent! Is there another?


i didnt say it was in dorset
Miles Herbert 13 1.8k 4 United Kingdom
31 Mar 2012 9:55PM
"Asher Reynolds is a young photographer living in Dorset where he has developed a passion for photography, especially scenic images of the beautiful Dorset landscape, it's wildlife and more recently a growing interest in portraiture. During this time Asher's dedication has won him several awards including ******** and ******** (list your two most prestigious awards) strengthening his ambitions of one day becoming a professional photographer."

Something like that?
Dvaid Plus
6 257 United Kingdom
31 Mar 2012 10:47PM
Asher
I love your waterfalls and your landscapes , well done. You might want to check your horizons are horizontal in the landscapes, and slow down the repetition rate on your homepage.
I suggest yoi give the third person description that Miles Herbert suggested to ten different people and ask their opinions compared with what you have there currently.

Best of luck.
David

Quote:"Asher Reynolds is a young photographer living in Dorset where he has developed a passion for photography, especially scenic images of the beautiful Dorset landscape, it's wildlife and more recently a growing interest in portraiture. During this time Asher's dedication has won him several awards including ******** and ******** (list your two most prestigious awards) strengthening his ambitions of one day becoming a professional photographer."

Something like that?



thanks thats so good
GlennH 10 1.9k 1 France
1 Apr 2012 11:38AM
I'd rework Miles' kindly written piece a little, Asher, with every respect to him. Possessive 'it' doesn't have an apostrophe for instance, although I make no pretence at being grammatically perfect myself. I'd also dice it up a bit to make it more easily readable. Something like the following, perhaps, based on the well-written original:


Quote:"Asher Reynolds is a young photographer living in Dorset, where he has developed a great passion for photography. He specialises in scenic images of the beautiful Dorset landscape as well as focusing on its wildlife, and more recently has shown a growing interest in portraiture. Asher's dedication has won him several awards, including ******** and ******** (list your two most prestigious awards) strengthening his ambitions of one day becoming a professional photographer."


Smile
GlennH 10 1.9k 1 France
1 Apr 2012 12:00PM
P.S. the last bit probably could do with some punctuation and minor adjustment as well, Asher. Final alteration (from me):


Quote:Asher Reynolds is a young photographer living in Dorset, where he has developed a great passion for photography. He specialises in scenic images of the beautiful Dorset landscape as well as focusing on its wildlife, and more recently has shown a growing interest in portraiture. Asher's dedication has won him several awards, including ******** and ******** (list your two most prestigious awards): strengthening his ambition of one day becoming a professional photographer."
1 Apr 2012 1:27PM
I think a comma not a colon before strengthening perhaps?
rossd 12 1.1k England
1 Apr 2012 3:19PM
There was a similar topic

here

Maybe of some help.

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