Back Modifications (1)
Views 127 Unique 52 Award Shortlist   

Broken Vase.

By dusfim
Hi all,

Another photo of my Light sculpting practice. The problem stacking seems to be better.
I like this photo, but I think the pocket and the glasses in my opinion look bit big after doing my checking.

Mario Dusfim

Tags: Still life Light painting Still life photography

Regatta Offer: Save 15% With Code 15OFF


chase Plus
16 2.2k 579 England
27 Sep 2020 12:00PM
Hi Mario,
Some nice things in this image but for me it's very cluttered.
I think it's the broken vase that doesn't seem to fit with the rest of your subjects, that would make a good image on its own perhaps with some leaves or flowers in the broken hole.
Maybe just that beautiful lamp and the pretty box, an open book with the glasses on it would make more sense and tell a better story, I would have gone really dark and lit the lamp but that's just a personal thing.

You are right in your thinking, the glasses and case take over the box which is a shame.

Looks like the stacking process has improved Mario, although the glass on the lamp looks a bit fuzzy to me.

Reckon you have done some far better compositions, some of them really would do well in the main Gallery you know, something to think about there perhaps.

Your exposure looks ok but, for me, that lamp is so the star of the show here with less stuff around it, pride of place in the frame would be stunning.
dusfim 11 Malta
27 Sep 2020 1:34PM
Hi chase,
Thanks for your constructive critique. I admit that I'm still poor on how to place things but i take you advice.

Cluttered means to much things?

dudler Plus
18 1.7k 1877 England
27 Sep 2020 1:37PM
Picking up Janet's point, I think this would get decent votes in the main gallery precisely as it is. It may take a little while to build up a following of people who will always look at your work, but don't worry - keep posting, keep commenting on other people's pictures and voting for them, and some of them will look at your work.

Janet also commented on there being too many elements in the frame, and I agree. The vase is one thing too much - maybe if the glasses were there on the velvet in front of the box, at an angle?

One other thing: the sides of the frame are empty: I've tried a square crop and the subject fits perfectly - please see the mod.
dusfim 11 Malta
27 Sep 2020 2:10PM
Hi Dudler,

Regarding the sides of the frame are empty because at our photography club in which i attend during the talks that we have they insist of giving room space from the subjects not like going out of frame.
I liked your mod but honestly it's not my like as a square photo. Please don't get me wrong.

If I upload in the main gallery would I be able to upload on this section to receive critique?
I again apologize for my english as I don't like writing .

chase Plus
16 2.2k 579 England
27 Sep 2020 2:37PM

Quote:Cluttered means to much things?

Yes, exactly Mario.
I do quite like Johns' mod, nothing there is right at the edges of the frame and there is nothing cut off which is what your camera club is mentioning.

Uploading into the Main Gallery will give you the availability of awards and votes Mario, there is nothing to say that you won't get critique, I will be keeping my eye on you there and, I guess the others of the Critique Team will too, you have been with us a long time in the Critique Gallery, maybe its time to spread your wings, you can always post in the Critique Gallery, any time you want to.

When you do post in the Main Gallery, do not tick 'critique requested' as it will just appear here.
You will do well there Mario and still get critique from me and the rest of the Team Smile
dudler Plus
18 1.7k 1877 England
27 Sep 2020 2:38PM
Hi, Mario -

If you upload in the main gallery, that doesn't stop you uploading on other days in the Critique Gallery. And you can upload every day there, rather than once a week, which may be a limit for free members.

Square frames are an acquired taste, and they are really good for some subjects, where you want to give a stately or a static view. An alternative is to spread the subjects a little more, sideways, so that you fill the frame better.

Your English is not a problem - I know some people find writing is a trial.
dudler Plus
18 1.7k 1877 England
27 Sep 2020 2:40PM
Janet and I were typing at the same time there - yes, I'll be seeing everything you post in the main gallery, too. And will comment, if I have something to say.
pamelajean Plus
15 1.6k 2238 United Kingdom
27 Sep 2020 4:45PM
Hello again, Mario.

I like the fact that you have chosen different materials - glass, china, metal and flowers. The broken vase tells a little story, but I think could have been set at more of an angle. The tin, too, could do with a slight angle. You do like things to be "orderly", but that sometimes prevents you from being more creative.

My first thought was, "Has he added the specs and case into the tin later?". I don't think you did, but correct me if I'm wrong. It is certainly out of place and unnecessary. I think that, if you wanted to put anything at all into the tin, maybe it should be a small memento, a lady's handkerchief, a string of beads, or just something less large and eye-catching. You picked up on that yourself, which is good. I think it's the case itself that is the problem, not necessarily the specs.

I know I'm starting to be nit-picking, but those flowers need some stems coming out of the vase in order for them to be seen as part of the vase's misfortune.

I, too, like John's crop. Perhaps you misunderstood your club. I undersand not having your subjects going out of the frame, but too much space around them is simply "dead" space. Certainly don't present them looking "cramped", or too close to the frame edges, but keep them looking comfortable.


banehawi Plus
17 2.5k 4264 Canada
28 Sep 2020 2:48PM
This might be a silly question Mario, but why are you stacking?
dusfim 11 Malta
29 Sep 2020 4:34PM
Hi Willie,
I am doing the photo stacking because each object is lighted separate to do the light sculpting as you desire. Background separate lighting,top taIf anyone of you will like to contact me I use Whatsapp and FaceBook to talk on webcam. I prefer more as I have to write with on hand and also not good in writing.

Regards Stay safe and take care all

dusfim 11 Malta
29 Sep 2020 4:37PM
One other thing still learning how to shape the lighting such roundness etc.
pablophotographer 10 1.9k 411
30 Sep 2020 1:54AM
Seor Dusfim!

Zorro was here: he came through the window, the lamp was not lit, he wasn't wearing his glasses (because he was wearing the mask) and broke the vase!
What? The window was closed? Well then one thing makes sense: You are Zorro!
Seor Zorro, Ole!

Your picture tells a story to me dusfim.

And it can tell so in another option too:
The light can be turned off the lamp may be lit, and you have another set to experiment with.

For me the picture looks very busy for another reason. It has too many colours. Zorro has a solution for that, he is wearing black and white, you do the same and you tell me if that looks any better.

I must rush off, Olive Oil asks for hugs.
Popeye 😋

banehawi Plus
17 2.5k 4264 Canada
30 Sep 2020 2:36AM
Thanks Mario. I need to study light painting in more detail.

banehawi Plus
17 2.5k 4264 Canada
1 Oct 2020 5:40PM
Reporting back!

Ive watched a number of light painting tutorials, - not a lot have the indoor still life as a subject, but I did find some.

All of the tutorials Ive seen use one single exposure with all of the items light painted in one single pass, so no need for stacking.

Is this technique you use Mario something special, and if theres a tutorial, do you have a link?

dudler Plus
18 1.7k 1877 England
2 Oct 2020 5:24PM
I think I am beginning to understand what you're doing Mario.

When I've tried light painting, I've used a single long exposure, and painted the elements separately by using a tight beam on them, and doing a bit of the subject at a time

From what you have said, you use a number of separate exposures, each with painting a different element of the scene. You are then combining these exposures, and aiming to adjust lighting on each element before combining them.
Is that right?

dusfim 11 Malta
3 Oct 2020 6:45AM
Hi Dudler,

Yes that's the process on what I am doing for Light painting. If you wish I use FaceBook and we can have a webcam chat as for me better.

Wish you success in your trials as you are better than me and we can help each other.
Stay safe.

dudler Plus
18 1.7k 1877 England
4 Oct 2020 9:16AM
Thank you, Mario. I shall see if we can make contact again...
clevercloggs Plus
17 251 15 Netherlands
14 Nov 2020 2:20PM
agree with Dudler, the composition works best in square frame and is then nice to look at.

however my niggle goes to something else, namely the oil lamp. At first i thought that that lamp was out of focus, but then saw that you exposed at F13, so that cannot be the case... it disturbs me that with such a crisp photo with all items in sharp focus there is one that comes out 'unsharp' if you know what i mean. i would suggest that you exchange the oil lamp for one which come across as sharp so that the whole image is in balance.



Sign In

You must be a member to leave a comment.

ePHOTOzine, the web's friendliest photography community.

Join For Free

Upload photos, chat with photographers, win prizes and much more.