Views 87 Unique 50
Vote 24
Award Shortlist   

Bronco and the Thunder-box

By Ericsamson
While on a recent visit to Greenway House, the Devon retreat of Agatha Christie, we chanced upon what might delicately be described as ‘the reading room’ furnished as it is with a collection of substantial tomes and some top shelf paperwork.
Well, we simply marvelled at the quality and quantity of provision for the purposes of ‘personal hygiene’ and reflected on the fact that in moments of acute colonic distress even the most refined of us requires something as substantial as Bronco’s Medicated Toilet Paper. I remember that my dear father, (Guard of the Royal Latrines) Major R. Swype swore by the stuff especially when, after a particularly robust curry at the regimental dinner, he was heard bellowing in distress, ‘Where’s the Bucking Bronco!” (Or something along those lines; one rather forgets with the passing of the years.)
We thought it might be of interest to share this modest memorial to simpler and happier times (or 'blast from the past' as I believe is now the more fashionable, if in this context, rather unfortunate phrase!) with our readers. As for the rather fine ‘sit-upon’ it brought back stirring memories of happy days at boarding school tearing the pages out of ‘The Complete Works of Shakespeare’ for lack of a 600 sheet pack of Bronco’s finest. Poor Hamlet’s demise was a great deal more distressing and humiliating than the one bestowed upon him by the Bard! ‘The rest is silence’ indeed! We didn't call it the Thunder-box for nothing!

Anyway must dash as we ladies are off to a little drinks party at which we have promised to entertain our admirers with a rousing rendition of Urethra Tinkling’s splendid anthem, ‘Cisterns are Doing it For Themselves.’ Bottoms up!

Yours, with an unswerving conviction that 600 sheets of Bronco’s finest should put an end to the Backstop problem once and for all, Miss R Swype (daughter of the above), Ann Drechs and Toyah Lett.

Many thanks for the much appreciated views, votes and comments in response to last week’s Silly Sunday offering and apologies for continuing the scatological theme. Caught as I am in the grip of such infantile preoccupations I can only conclude that although we are born free we must always pull the chain. With apologies to that nice Mr Rousseau, our much revered lavatory attendant and part time philosopher. Blush Wink SmileSmileSmile

Tags: Devon Toilet Toilet paper Silly Sunday Humour and fun Toilet humour Greenway House

Voters: clicknimagine, mike9005, saltireblue and 21 more

Save up to £360 on selected ZEISS lenses!

Comments


saltireblue Plus
9 9.9k 39 Norway
13 Oct 2019 2:51PM
The choice of paper to be utilised in the throne room can have diverse outcomes. First, choose between broadsheet and tabloid (other paper sizes are not recommended by this reviewer). The paper size is not necessarily in direct relation to the size of the posterior where said paper shall be used, rather to the size of ones hand, which is the deciding factor which determines the amount of paper capable of being put into action during any given wipe.
Secondly, it is prudent to choose pages, or sides with as few pictures as possible, as these tend to be far more slippery, resembling Izal brand paper, which every discerning wiper knows is more slippery than a Tefal coated pan.
Third, grip technique. A firm grip is essential to a successful result. Use more paper than you feel is needed so that you have a handful to hold on to and at the same time enough to the actual wipe. Losing your grip underway due to having too little material must be avoided at all costs. If you are fearful of running out of paper, then broadsheets can, if necessary, be torn in half for obtaining more wipes per edition. It is not recommended tearing tabloid size in half.

Alternatively, buy a roll of soft and fluffy Andrex and a dog.

Join ePHOTOzine for free and remove these adverts.

woolybill1 Plus
13 30 75 United Kingdom
13 Oct 2019 2:54PM
Our ablutional activities were always Medicated with IZAL Germicide. Thank goodness we have moved away from the discomfort, though a swift goggle tells me that IZAL is still available . . . .

A fascinating commentary accompanies your investigative imagery, Sir.
Regards
Mr L. A. Trine

cats_123 Plus
15 4.9k 29 Northern Ireland
13 Oct 2019 3:28PM
"Government property" rolls could be quite taxing. My preferred choice would last year's 'Thunderer'.

A resolution to a Norn Iron backstop would be most appreciated 😁😁
mac Plus
18 3 Scotland
13 Oct 2019 3:32PM
Oh for the days one could sit leisurely and read a book when on the throne. The pace of life now does not allow such luxuries! Good image of the days of square toilet paper and Bronco for your superfine variety.
Ian
Toobi_Won 8 77 7 England
13 Oct 2019 3:57PM

Quote:Oh for the days one could sit leisurely and read a book when on the throne. The pace of life now does not allow such luxuries! Good image of the days of square toilet paper and Bronco for your superfine variety.
Ian


I was in the toilets at Manchester Airport last year, when I heared a voice (and other sounds) coming from a cubicle. The occupant was on his 'phone, engaged in a conference call with his company! The "best "bit was, they knew what he was doing as well, hard to miss though with all the sound effects.Sad I think he ws something big in curry, not the electrical either.
Toobi_Won 8 77 7 England
13 Oct 2019 4:09PM
My grannies al freco dunny was usually furnished with strips of the Daily Mirror, Graham and when she was feeling flush, (see what I did here) she would supplement it with the News of the Screws (we made our excuses and left....yeh, right!) We could augur the state of her digestion by the way she would run, on occasion, out of strips of the Mirror before Sunday, thereby supplementing it with the previous weeks NotS on the Friday or Saturday.
One of the disadvantages of the outside toilet was things tended toward dampness and ink would run. I still maintain that this is how my brother and me, learned to read backwards writing, using a torch under the bedclothes, when youngSmile
mrswoolybill Plus
13 1.7k 2099 United Kingdom
13 Oct 2019 4:36PM
My grandmother was a great believer in the scratchy stuff. Just one of my many problems with her...

Quote:‘Cisterns are Doing it For Themselves.’

I must remember that, it could be a great title.
bluesandtwos 10 409 1 England
13 Oct 2019 4:46PM
Free from all injurious ingredients!!!GrinGrinGrin

Followed by a throne worthy of the Queen of Sheba, Aunt Dahlia has similar at Blandings and many an hour has been spent ensconced on its well used and polished woodwork. A privy of the highest order!

My humblest of awards most certainly is yours Sir. for the images and for your inimitable humour!Grin I bow humbly as I doff my virtual hat, you are indeed the Master. Smile

Bertram, who is in awe.

13 Oct 2019 4:52PM
13 Oct 2019 6:43PM
SmileSmileSmile
capto Plus
7 5.9k 13 United Kingdom
13 Oct 2019 7:24PM
I was going to add something witty, but I must rush to the 'little boys room'.Smile
ivor
14 Oct 2019 10:27AM
An interesting subject matter, Graham well done for photographing this, though I think I would rather photograph it than use it.

JohnSmile
TrevBatWCC Plus
11 13 13 England
14 Oct 2019 11:10AM
A crapping - sorry, cracking - Silly Sunday upload, Graham! 😁 When I were a lad, we always had Izal toilet paper, whicch wasn't much better than the newspaper used at my grannies... 😬 Love that toilet in the version, could spend hours sat pondering on that... 👍
Trev 😀
14 Oct 2019 12:41PM
The lead for me , Eric!SmileSmileSmile
Jukka.
mistere Plus
6 4 3 England
18 Oct 2019 2:37PM
Cisterns are Doing it For Themselves.’ ...wonderful SmileSmileSmile

Dave,
Chinga Plus
9 3 1 United Kingdom
25 Oct 2019 12:23PM
Good informative write up. Excellent images and content...
Isabel GrinGrin
viscostatic 13 45 5 United Kingdom
27 Oct 2019 8:43AM
Fascinating.

Phil.

Sign In

You must be a member to leave a comment.

ePHOTOzine, the web's friendliest photography community.

Join For Free

Upload photos, chat with photographers, win prizes and much more.