Back Modifications (1)
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floating in the grass

By Bernabedellamattia
In Ledesma, a little town in Argentina, where I found this boat, in the midlle of no where.

Tags: Model General Portraits and people Nude and glamour

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This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.

Comments


paulbroad 8 113 1020 United Kingdom
28 Sep 2012 8:33PM
This could be a cracker but I fear I cannot understand your composition. Just too offset for me.
If she was offset to the right I could understand.

Paul

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Peter23 7 23 2
28 Sep 2012 8:43PM
Agree with Paul, plus I'd of kept the front of the boat in focus and calmed down the saturation in the greens.

Pete
NEWMANP Plus
8 1.6k 574 United Kingdom
28 Sep 2012 11:47PM
just gos to show because i do apreciate your composition and i actually like the idea of using negative space to the right to balance the lady facing the left side of frame. placing her facing the otherway would have been the obvious choice -- but less striking. i love her positioning across the boat

the exposure is great and the contrasty light on the skin and white dress has been well handled. sharpness is good as the boat needed to be sharp for the image to work, -- however maybe the sharp background is too sharp and may have been better softened by a wider aperature or some post processing. also id be tempted to spirit away the tree trunks over her body and face in photoshop with a little cloning.

then i feel the image lost its strength by the cropping which is very tight above the face and below the boat. space is needed in both areas to create a better balance.

the thing that niggles me most is the strength of the contrast and particularly the greens. the contrast is fine on the girl and boat but the rest needs muting down so that it dosnt compete with the main subject.

non the less a super shot as are many of the others in your pf. i particularly like the head shot africa mia

standard note.

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regards
Phil
pablophotographer 4 596 240
29 Sep 2012 12:26AM
Hi.
I think it's too late to modify it to something too different or drastic, post shot tools can not always save the day. So if you don't mind let's go back to the fundamental elements.

Lighting Taking clues from the shadow on her arms the sole lighting source used, the sun, was on your right as you looked at her. I understand there was no over cast. Your camera settings would probably needed to be 50 or 100 ISO, no exposure compensation would be needed if the aperture was smaller... your lens can go up to f11 for sure. The field of focus would be greater and the boat bow would look sharper despite the strong non-descriptive yellow.

CompositionYour poser has her side to it.... pas mal. And she is let to the sun touch... Sensual. The head which is oriented at 3 o'clock goes back in a relaxing way. Legs seem to ask for attention. She is left in her thoughts. You are not there. The viewer is also a passive part of the picture, a peeping Tom. But what if she was facing the sun from the front, head oriented at 10 o'clock and instead of turning back her head to look at the sky, had turned her face to you and smiled. You are acknowledged; Your viewer immediately participates to the picture, she communicates with him/her.
-"Hello"
-"Do you enjoy the sunshine?"
The picture should speak to the viewer, play with the fantasy, evoke strong feelings.

Background Your picture includes some tree trunks on the left. I think if you had shot her from the left to the right (as I fail to see any trunks on the right side) pic would have all lower plants to make the green sea appear calm and non interrupted, thus making boat and girl pop out without any other attention disturbances.

I think that's all i can think of it.... thanks for reading.
Focus_Man 6 481 631 United Kingdom
29 Sep 2012 8:55AM
Well my first thought was that if the girl was the opposite side it would improve the composition, so having seen also the opposite being suggested, i have uplaoded a hastily done mod to actually look at it.

My preference remains having thye girl to the right with a little space allowed on top and bottom as the present crop does appear to be a little tight.
EXIF wise I would have preferred f8 and no exposure compensation, otherwise, with the shift in compensation I do like it.

Frank
24 Oct 2012 6:35AM
like the picture, gives you the feel of shes all alone in the boat in the swamp. helpless yet dosent have a care for the world well done.

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