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Long (love) story

By pablophotographer
Shot with the front 5megapixel camera of my phone -the back had an accident which knocked off the "normal" phone camera-. Is it too dark? Mind you, it was shot at 20:30...

The man has left some flowers to float on the water his wife's ashes were scattered.

All critique, or any suggestions and mods are welcome

Tags: Lost love Landscape and travel

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Comments


banehawi Plus
16 2.4k 4227 Canada
4 Apr 2021 4:17AM
Where was this shot Pablo? Im wondering where it is a person is allowed to scatter human remains in water from the shore?

It does look too dark to me in the lower area, likely due to the relatively bright sky and water. Theres a person there that some people may not notice.

Ill try a mod shortly.


Willie
4 Apr 2021 5:46AM
The pic is very good for a mobile and the storyline behind it is even better ----- so sad and intriguing. Image is not dark at all.
dudler Plus
17 1.6k 1832 England
4 Apr 2021 8:01AM
No, not too dark generally, although some processing to bring out the detail in the bottom left might be good. Checking with the Co-Operative Funeralcare website, I found this:

'In the UK, you can scatter the ashes of someone you love in a variety of open places. This can be in a garden of remembrance, in a green space, over water, or on private land.

Some people request to have their ashes scattered in a place that was close to their heart. Others may not leave instruction. It's also possible to scatter ashes in multiple places, if preferred.

Here are some examples of where you can scatter ashes:

In a churchyard, cemetery or natural burial ground
Over the sea, a river or body of water
In a national park or public space
On private land (back garden, sports ground or private farmland)'


Which comes as a bit of a relief to me, having scattered the ashes of two relatives from a bridge into a stream in Hawkcombe in the last decade...


mrswoolybill Plus
14 2.7k 2395 United Kingdom
4 Apr 2021 8:46AM
I shall just add that years ago a friend sent her partner's ashes sailing away down the Tyne in a flotilla of little paper boats, each with a tealight.
chase Plus
15 2.1k 562 England
4 Apr 2021 11:06AM
An emotional moment and you have captured it well although on it's own, without your dialogue, it is difficult to see what is happening.
I do find this too dark at the left, I am struggling to actually see the chap.

I did a mod,
cropped, reduced the blues slightly by warming the image up.
Lightened bottom left.

Converted the colour profile to sRGB
pamelajean Plus
15 1.5k 2211 United Kingdom
4 Apr 2021 12:56PM
Without a dialogue, no-one would know what the man has been doing. The flowers are too small to be significant. I think that if you had captured him placing the flowers onto the water, any viewer might have a clue as to what is going on, but you still needed to either be closer or get the action into your frame. As it stands, all the action is in the bottom left of the frame.
I apologise for being so negative, Pablo.

Pamela.
pablophotographer 9 1.8k 405
4 Apr 2021 1:42PM
Thanks for the comments team. I don't find them negative. I shot this as landscape picture. The story is part of the frame but not its main reason d'etree. I had to accept the limitations of the camera as if I had a 35mm automatic pocket camera.As I am typing this I have not seen your mods yet so I will thank you for your time in advance.
pablophotographer
pablophotographer 9 1.8k 405
4 Apr 2021 2:06PM
Happy Easter to you all!

Thanks for your visual interpretations of it. I had tried a lighter version which I will upload now, the person is more visible but the sense of melancholy is missing.

At about the same time I took three frames with my film camera, two horizontal of which one contains a vessel floating down the water and one vertical that records water on the shore and three of those poles.

Digital is a faster way to communicate, there are still frames in the film which have not even been shot yet.

pablophotographer
dark_lord Plus
17 2.8k 761 England
4 Apr 2021 2:16PM
I struggled to see he person, but nce I knew where to look I could see him.
It's that part of the image that's 'too dark', requiring some lifting of shadow detail in post processing. Exposure compensation, had you had the option, would have made the whole image light and washed out so going the software route is the most effective approach.
That said, he just appears as a figure and it's only your narrative that tells us what's going on and not the image itself. Tke 'moment' where he placed the flowers as Pamela mentions has gone so the viewer is left without a clue. The one that got away. Sorry if that's negative too.

The interest centres on the posts sticking out of the water. With the pastel blue tones, calm water and receding hills, that is the picture I see here which is attractive in it's own right. Cropping the bottom third of the image would do that. It's worth another visit to capture that if nothing else.
banehawi Plus
16 2.4k 4227 Canada
4 Apr 2021 2:46PM
Whether a viewer sees it as too dark or not is subjectively dependent on the medium used to view. A tablet, phone, monitor, etc may all show this differently as they may be all calibrated differently.

A calibrated graphics monitor shows the bottom with the person barely visible.


W
mrswoolybill Plus
14 2.7k 2395 United Kingdom
4 Apr 2021 4:05PM
As a result of your description, and seeing the modifications, I was able to pick out the man's head and upper body, but I would not have spotted him otherwise. So effectively the image depends on a verbal narrative to communicate its message. Lightening that bottom left area may reduce the feeling of abstract melancholy but it does mean that the image tells its story much better.

It's for you to decide the balance, how much you want the viewer to see. But if you want the viewer to be aware of the figure, this needs to be lighter. Willie's mod strikes a good balance for me.
pablophotographer 9 1.8k 405
4 Apr 2021 6:08PM
dark_lord
Quote:The interest centres on the posts sticking out of the water. With the pastel blue tones, calm water and receding hills, that is the picture I see here which is attractive in it's own right.



I suspect that is why I said I consider it as a landscape image. Rough estimate tells me this frame is a 4x3, how strange! I would not want to turn it to a typical 3x2, I consider the blue bottom right corner a point of certain gravity, that happens to connect to the man's history.
pablophotographer
4 Apr 2021 9:51PM
I did not notice the figure, and would not have without our commentary......Even given the hour, I tis hard too see him, and the connection to the "light spots" in the water...It is a great story to tell.

In this country there are a lot of prohibitions about where you can put ashes....when my former father in law died, we poured his ashes into the Chesapeake Bay ( he was a Bay sailor)...totally illegal....one of those cases where it is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Peter

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