Back Modifications (3)
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Nearly a Mono for Morgs

By Alan_Coles
Posting this on impulse really, so I expect it to bomb as they say...it's a reworking I have had on my pc for sometime but never posted...another reason why I think this will not get the votes....so instead I would like some critique if you wish.

The lady was on a train between stops at this years Severn Valley doo.... she was sat there knitting away and just staring out of the window. My original post of this is here...


Nearly a mono for Morgs

Tags: Street photography Photo journalism General Portraits and people

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This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.

Comments


franken Plus
14 4.0k 4 Wales
14 Dec 2010 10:02PM
This version works so much better than the orignal in my opinion. It has an aged 40's print feel to it.

Ken

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Platchet 9 5 8 Wales
14 Dec 2010 10:16PM
I'm torn between the two but I like the colours in her blouse for some strange reason!
Those diagonal lines in the mono are distracting, not sure what's caused them?
All said its a very nice portrait.
Gazza
Alan_Coles 10 177 11 Wales
14 Dec 2010 10:26PM
Gaz, the lines are actually the siderest of the train compartment...it is more visible on the original. I have a folder with a few variations of this on and will upload a few that I attempted...inc the original if anyone fancies a play ! Smile
HectorRivera 9 17 1 United States
14 Dec 2010 11:27PM
Nice work
Davesumner 9 28 300 Australia
15 Dec 2010 1:35AM
Hi,

Great image, please note that there a facility to upload different versions rather than adding them where the other critiquers add their versions. Look for the link 'Upload New Version' underneath the original image.

I like this and the B&W version, it does have an olde world feeling about it. Now I am by no means an expert with portraits but for me I think the image needs more space on the right side as for me she is looking straight out of the image which is a bit of a no no in portrait work I'm told.

Apart from that the effect with the vignette works really well.

DaVeS
cats_123 Plus
12 4.6k 26 Northern Ireland
15 Dec 2010 7:53AM
works for me..like the original except for the `upholstery' marks to her left, but tend to go for the whole shot..have had a go at a mod Smile
My first thought was the start of Saving Private Ryan when Mum looks out the window and sees the Army car coming up the road. Nicely done.

Dougie
Mynett 8 142 6 United Kingdom
15 Dec 2010 8:52AM
this is a very nice image, the mono and the softness of the tones really suit the mood you have captured, I much prefer this to the link version Al, very well done

Linda
cassiecat 8 39 46 England
15 Dec 2010 9:00AM
love the softness and like it much more than the original (and liked that one) youve really bought out the best in it for me. torn between this and the mono version though.lesley
pluckyfilly Plus
10 351 33 United Kingdom
15 Dec 2010 9:32AM
I can see the point made by Focus_Man but I like the picture as is and see her as a lady with things on her mind only she knows what! I also like the fact she is looking out of the picture (so to speak) it accentuates the fact she is looking out of the window to me - what to do about the redundant L.H.side remains a mystery unsolved, do you cut off her left shoulder (looking at the picture L.H.side) of course she is alone and may look out of the window feeling shy of people around her - that would be my guess. Shame we cant ask her Smile
Maiwand Plus
9 3 72 England
15 Dec 2010 10:03AM
A fine candid portrait Alan. PS treatment suits very well indeed.
Ron
Ray42 8 3 England
16 Dec 2010 11:19AM
A great piece of work - excellent processing and a great portrait
DRicherby 7 269 725 United Kingdom
17 Dec 2010 4:30PM
I'm afraid I prefer the colour version you uploaded a while ago. That's nice and sharp and her face is bathed in the lovely window light. Your black and white version has some of that clarity, though it might just bed a bit of sharpening. In both cases, I'd either clone or, more likely, crop out the diagonal pater on the seat back to the left of her head, as I find that rather distracting. I'd prefer to crop it as the space to the left of her head isn't contributing much to the photo. Having her looking out of frame is largely unavoidable, as you wouldn't be able to expose properly with the window in the shot and, as pluckyfilly says, it's entirely appropriate, as she's staring off into space. But I do think there's too much space on the left. I think I'd clone out the hair across her nose, too, as you've done in the sepia version.

The sepia version doesn't work for me at all. The yellowish burnt-out shoulder really draws the eye and the negative vignette gives the impression that we're peering at her through mist. not only that but it draws more attention to the edges of the frame and away from the subject. If you look at old photos with negative vignetting, it's almost always to create an oval-shaped photograph within a rectangular frame and the vignette is a gradual fade to the natural paper colour and doesn't overlap the subject of the photo. Here, you're fading over the subject and the black border means that it's not a fade to the paper colour and also creates a high-contrast edge that, again, draws the eye away from the subject.

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