Back Modifications (1)
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On Our Kitchen /Window Sill

By charisma515    
SONY DSC Shot taken against the light filtering through the slatted blind. An exercise in composition.

Tags: Composition Specialist and abstract Natural light Indoors

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This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.

Comments


chase 11 1.1k 246 England
8 Jul 2013 6:00PM
Using flash in a situation like this is always going to give you outline shadows on the bg,a sure tell-tale sign.
The composition works ok on the diagonal side of things but for me the image looks a little complicated & rushed.The different pots are each competing against each other as are the flowers.
Maybe you could have gone much more simplistic & photographed the plants/flowers as individuals & used their natural shape/form to create your composition...particularly the Orchid with it's nice flowing,natural curve.
If you wish to use the blinds as a bg then try lighting with a couple of torches in order to eliminate the hard shadows behind...or,just increase your exposure time,your subjects are static so you can take as much time as you need.
If this were mine I would have used the light coming in from the blinds as shadows,placing the subjects away from them ( you would then have your back to the blinds) & used a plain piece of light card as a bg.I have seen this done many times on a portrait,no reason not to do it using flowers as your subject.
The colours are good & you have enough detail in each of the three.

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mrswoolybill Plus
9 965 1493 United Kingdom
8 Jul 2013 7:01PM
Welcome to the Critique Gallery, I think this is your first upload here!
Chase has covered the technical issues, can I add a few compositional notes?
I really like the way you have seen this. It has a clean, simple formality - three different items, small and medium looking up to a taller item which is bending down to converse. It reminds me of the Ronnie Corbett, Ronnie Barker, John Cleese sketch of many years ago - 'I look up to him because he is upper class... I look down on him because he is lower class...
I know my place...'

More seriously, some minor changes could improve this greatly but they depend on the software that you have available. If you have the Clone tool, get rid of that bit of pull-cord hanging on the right. If you don't have clone, a slight crop will get rid of it, but would make the right side rather cramped looking.
If you have Skew (in Adobe software it is under Image>Transform ), skew the top left up a degree, bottom left down a couple of degrees. When you have a formal, linear background like this the horizontals need to be true.
Look out for minor niggles like the above when composing, it's worth taking time.
I'd also like to see a bit more depth at the bottom of the frame, the pots sit right on the edge and that doesn't balance the height that you have allowed above the orchid.
It might be possible to add a bit more presence to the flowers using the Burn tool - flash has rather washed out the colour.
A Modification will appear in a little while. To view it, click on the Modifications button under your upload and then on the thumbnail.
Moira
Chase thanks for the comments particularly about the lighting, which is very helpful
Fred
Moira, thanks for all the Trouble you have taken in your welcome comments. It was careless of me to leave the end of the pull cord in there. I have Photoshop CS6 so there is really no excuse!

I have only submitted three earlier photos for comments and mods before so I am fairly new to this and therefore your comments have been very helpful.
Fred

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